I remember gazing at the TV, wrapped in a blanket and eating a bag of chips with my mother. The Miss Universe beauty pageant was on, and it was fun to observe all of the pretty clothes and be mesmerized by each contestant’s beauty and grace. My mother and I were commenting on each person, giving criticisms. “Her eyes are too small . . . her shoes are hideous,” my mother and I would echo back and forth to each other. However, when each hour passed, I started to feel a little self-conscious.

Here were these gorgeous women with long, luscious hair and perfectly toned bodies. They would strut down the runway in lavish clothing with such beauty and grace. I was only in middle school at the time. In my mind, I pointed out the physical characteristics that made me different and imperfect from these models. “My hair is too short . . . my nose is too wide . . . my face is homely . . . my body is not curvy . . .” I knew at the time that this was preposterous thinking.

I reassured myself that “I was only in sixth grade. Of course, I do not have a matured body! Short hair can be cute, and people get prettier when they grow up, right?” Despite this logical rationale, I still was worried I’d never be beautiful. You would think reading “The Ugly Duckling” ten times would pay off, but it didn’t help my confidence. There were people in my class who were already ahead of me with their long blonde hair and their perfectly cute carved faces.

I asked my mother, “Am I pretty right now? And will I ever be as beautiful as them?”

“You’re average,” I remember her reply. “Someday, you’ll be as beautiful as them if you work at it.”

This was emotionally damaging to sixth-grade me. My mother told me I was only average during a time in every child’s life when their self-esteem is the lowest. I accepted my ugly fate and didn’t try with my appearance. I secretly longed to be like my beautiful classmates, but I could never see myself up there.

I questioned, “Why do they get to be beautiful? Don’t people always emphasize that everyone is special and beautiful in their own way? Why am I not beautiful? What does it even mean to be beautiful?” To answer this question, one must first understand what beauty is.

Beauty is simply a quality or characteristic that is pleasing to another. When most people think of beauty, they think of the physical appearance of a person. The reality is, beauty doesn’t apply just to people; it could be to art, nature, or even music. Beauty can even be a color, a pleasant melody, or a concept or an idea.

Van Gogh’s Starry Night, a multicolored sunset, Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5, and the Declaration of Independence are all examples of beauty that are not human. Starry Night and a colorful sunset are both beautiful visually, and Beethoven's Fifth Symphony is beautiful aurally. The Declaration Of Independence is beautiful because it represents the divine idea of freedom and it’s written in a beautiful and eloquent manner.

Since beauty is just a pleasing quality, doesn’t that mean everything is beautiful? Surely every object, sight, sound, or person in the universe is pleasing to something or someone. In a way, yes. It really depends on whose point of view you’re looking at. It’s possible that you could even have a characteristic that is both beautiful and ugly at the same time.

For example, I recall a moment where my friend was explaining the positive and negative comments a picture received on the internet. The picture had a pair of old hands, withered and worn from age and arduous labor. Some people said that the hands were ugly because they weren’t young and smooth. Others said that the hands were beautiful because they represented a lifetime of hard work, dedication, and fulfillment. As you can see, a quality that someone sees as beautiful can be ugly to another. It all depends on whose point of view you’re looking at.

As established, everyone’s opinion on what beauty means is different, especially when it comes to being a beautiful person. Some may say that in order to be beautiful, you must be visually pleasing. One person may say that blonde hair and blue eyes are the key to being beautiful. Another may say that having black hair and brown eyes is the answer.

Both people are not right or wrong; it’s simply that both have different opinions. In society, however, there seems to be a pattern of beauty; the standard female model is tall, caucasian, slender, has clear skin, healthy hair and attractive facial features, such as a small nose, big eyes and full lips. The sad reality is that many people are either pushed into this mold or try their best to achieve these characteristics. What people do not realize is that it’s possible to be beautiful in your own way through inner beauty.

An often overlooked type of beauty is inner beauty. You may be the most physically attractive person in the universe, but if you have an atrocious personality, it’ll overshadow your physical beauty. To be internally beautiful is to be kind, humble, selfless, benign and good-natured, just to name a few adjectives. I can recall many times where I have seen two people of equal outward beauty be unequal in overall beauty.

For example, let’s say there are two girls, one named Becky and one named Clara. Both are considered to be very physically attractive to a large group of people. Becky is arrogant, manipulative and obnoxious. Clara, on the other hand, is kind, generous and friendly. I would always see Clara as the more beautiful one. Becky’s personality completely overshadows any outward beauty she has.

In the long run, inner beauty definitely lasts longer than physical beauty, and more people will want to be around you if you’re internally beautiful.

Why do people even want to be beautiful? Some may say that being beautiful is not important. It’s not a necessity, right? People shouldn’t be so biased and just treat everyone equally. Unfortunately, there’s a reason why people strive to be beautiful: people tend to treat beautiful people better than ugly people. To be ugly is to have an undesirable trait.

No one wants to be undesired. It all starts a little before our adolescent years, in elementary. I’m sure everyone can remember a time where they felt out of place or they felt embarrassed to wear a certain type of clothing or hairstyle. When I was little, I had very short hair and I was embarrassed by it because people said I looked like a boy. I always wore hand-me-downs from the thrift store while other girls in my class were permitted to grow out their hair and wear brand new shirts.

Some people would make fun of me for it and as a result, I became very shy and reclusive. When I was little I wished I was beautiful. Why? To put it simply, I wanted to receive better treatment. As many of you know, this is the wrong mindset. If I dressed or appeared more beautifully, it probably wouldn’t have helped my situation.

The only thing that helped me gain more friends and be more confident and happy in myself was working on my inner beauty. However, I and many other people do not know this and I valued my physical appearance over my inner appearance for the longest time.

A few days ago, I recently asked my mother the question that bothered me so many years ago: “Am I beautiful?” Her response? “You’re still average.” I interrogated her, asking why I am still average after all these years and who is beautiful in this world. My mom explained that she tells me I’m average because she believes American kids get too much praise and she doesn’t want me to grow up arrogant.

However, she believes that being average isn’t a bad thing. “Average is good,” I remember her consulting me. “No one in this world is truly beautiful.” In a way, she’s right. There’s not one person that everyone can mutually agree on with their beautiful characteristics. As an individual, I have to make my own decisions on what I find to be beautiful and what I find to be ugly. I have to decide for myself whether I was going to let other people’s perception of beauty decide who I was going to transform to as a person.

Many years ago, I decided that inner beauty is more important than outward beauty. While it’s all fun and games to dress nice and do my hair, I know deep down that everything is temporary except for my impression on others and on the world. Being beautiful is important in the right areas, because it’ll help you be an all around better person. Do not let others tell you how to dress or how to act. The only standard of beauty that matters is your own.