I left Instagram and Snapchat for good in January when I realized that I have spent entire Saturday mornings observing other people’s lives. Like a machine, I was refreshing the feed every five minutes, watching and rewatching Snapchat stories, scrolling through the same photos endlessly. My strained eyes searched for new stories and pictures that would keep me interested as if my own life was not interesting at all. Furious with myself, I deleted those applications from my phone without hesitation and I haven’t reinstalled them since.
I do not intend on demonizing social media. They have just as many – if not, more – positive aspects as there are negative ones. Nevertheless, I noticed some positive changes in my life after removing myself from those apps.
I spent less and less time on my phone.
Once I no longer had anything to look at on my phone, I realized how “trained” I had been to routinely check it. Every five minutes, I would impulsively grab my phone and look for apps to distract myself with. It wasn’t that my phone was distracting me from whatever I was doing, I was begging my phone to divert me from my work. The addiction was so strong that my hand reached for the phone automatically; the motion had grown on me physically, beyond the mental realm.
Without anything to amuse myself with besides the time and the weather, I reached for my phone less and less. I checked my messages even less frequently, driving my family crazy. But I was so much more relaxed than I had been previously. I no longer experienced the bitter jealousy that I harbored from the perfect Instagram feeds and Snapchat stories that I once clouded my mind with.
Then, I realized that social media creates the illusion that our own lives are boring.
It’s a vicious cycle. I became mesmerized by the perfect pictures of girls in their cute outfits, with their cute friends (or boyfriends), in a cute restaurant, eating cute food. Little did I know about the camera angles and lighting, and the strenuous posing and retouching that those perfect snapshots required. No one’s life is as picture-perfect or as well-coordinated as their Instagram feed. Visual perfection does not equate a perfect life; a perfect life simply does not exist.
Now that I’m no longer worried about how I can decorate my feed or boast about how much fun I’m having, I am learning to live genuinely.
When I was immersed in the sea of pictures and videos, I was wrapped up in a mix of admiration, jealousy, and despair because my life was quite bland compared to the colorful, loud photos and videos that I saw on my feed. My Instagram was not aesthetically pleasing either. The foods that I liked were not photogenic nor special, and my casual hang-outs with friends weren’t interesting enough to post about. This never-ending battle of the feeds puts to shame the small moments and pleasures that aren’t so photogenic.
Lastly, I find myself avoiding gossip.
The less I knew, the less I judged. Of course, I still slip and find myself criticizing someone behind their back. With or without a social media account, gossiping is a difficult habit of giving up on. But cutting a bulk of my online activity helped me stop scrutinizing others so much and gave me more time and mental room to improve my self-awareness. When I further discovered and acknowledged my weaknesses, I grew more generous with the weaknesses of others.
I no longer felt comfortable nor justified to cut anyone down, either. Taking a step back from the online world helped me focus on the real people behind the pictures and the videos. Though I’m not sure what the future holds, I do not plan on getting back on those applications any time soon; what I’ve learned is too precious.
Try taking a break from some of your social media accounts!