Can you accept criticism?
I'm finding it personally hard. There is a line between constructive criticism and an insult. For example, if someone tells you that you look ugly today, that is very general and is not helping you in any way, as well as it is just blatantly rude. Now, if instead, that same person said “You really shouldn’t be wearing that sweater, it has a huge stain on it,” they are helping you.
The problem being addressed here though is that no matter what you call both types of statements, they are criticism, and many people are offended either way. Maybe that stems from insecurity or the opposite. Perhaps you think too highly of yourself to understand there may be an issue in your appearance. Or, maybe there is a negative connotation to why you can’t accept criticism.
Personally, it is because growing up, no matter where I went or what I did, I was being bullied. Kids would make fun of my hair because it is very frizzy and I would always just put it in a messy ponytail. There was a time when I was 12-years-old when I found out my “friends” were saying mean things about me in a notebook and I read it. I came home crying that day.
In that notebook, there was a comment that said I “look like a man.” The summer after that happened I decided I would give them something to talk about. So I started working out more, dressing better and doing my hair nicely every day. This gave me confidence. Although it took several rude comments, I turned the criticism into an opportunity to better myself.
Appearance isn’t the only kind of criticism there is. How about schoolwork, such as essays and written assignments? Many students have trouble accepting their teacher’s or fellow student’s critique on their work. Everyone wants to believe that since they did the best they could and looked over it several times that it shouldn’t need more work. Sometimes when we are in workshops and put in groups to edit each other’s material, it is like pulling teeth. You want to be as helpful as possible, yet you still find yourself saying the paper was “mostly well-written.” But there are ways around critiquing without sounding rude; you can make a suggestion and then give a compliment. For example, “I like the structure of your essay, but maybe you can open with the second paragraph instead of the first.”
Aside from school and appearance, there is critique toward your approach to life, by people such as friends, family, or even a therapist. The keynote you have to think about is that they wish the best for you and are here to help you. They are not telling you that you should change your ways because they don’t like you. Bullies are a different story; their goal IS to put you down and not help you in any way. The key to accepting criticism of any kind is turning it into something positive and thinking this is a good opportunity for self-improvement. If you keep that in mind, you will be able to slowly accept any kind of criticism you get.