When you grow up in a Republican, church-going community with a politically involved family, you’re constantly watched and judged. When your father is an elder in the church, has a best friend who’s a congressman, works in the government himself, and donates to major charities you tend to be involved at high profile functions.

This means major persecution whenever you act out of line or in any way that could affect your family’s tea party, republican beliefs. That meant no typical teenage rebellion because Heaven forbid if any social ladies at church heard of it. That meant dating said social ladies' sons and having talks of marriage and children by 15, being prepped at age 10 to marry.

Things constantly would be suffocating, drowning you in the beliefs of everyone around you.

The constant reform of who you really are and what they want you to be just killing you especially because instead of sitting at a Christmas party and talking marriage you’d rather be at a club or a rave.

Instead of standing next to your father listening to politics, you’d rather be at an equal rights movement because that’s who you are and what you want. As much as your parents want you to be engaged to the pastor's son, you’d really much rather make out with that cute, dark-haired beauty you’ve been talking to. They don’t know this though because they never asked.

That girl who always stayed the night and they thought was your best friend was really a lot more than a friend. She was someone who you cared for and when you couldn’t stand up for who you are she left, and your mother's constant questioning as to why you’re not friends is just a painful reminder.

Because in your family being gay is wrong it’s a choice that you shouldn’t make.

That’s what they don’t understand, however, it’s not a choice it's who you are. You didn’t just wake up one day deciding I like girls or I like guys. It’s more than that it’s a physical and an emotional connection that you have you don’t see girl or boy you see another soul that you care about.

You don’t view it wrong - you’re still a Christian girl, you still love Christ, and that makes things worse why all the hatred of people. God tells us through the book to show love not hatred, love thy neighbor as thy self. No, you don’t have to agree with the neighbor but why show them hatred for who they are?

It doesn’t matter how much you say that it doesn’t matter when your father and mother say they agree because you hear the comments they say when they see two girls or two guys together. You know that if they knew you cared about guys and girls they would frown so you never talk about it. You keep who you are inside and hope one day they can open up to the idea.