For my entire life, I’ve been known as the loud, confident, and annoying girl. My friends and family know that I’m not afraid to speak my mind and definitely not one to be quiet when I do. When I get comfortable with a group of people I tend to be a bit of an extrovert, and by a bit I mean COMPLETELY. But you see, there’s a BIG emphasis on the word "comfortable" because comfortable me is the foundation for confident me--and uncomfortable me is where the root of all my social anxiety lies.

The smallest, simplest things can trigger this wave of anxiety over me and within seconds, my entire body is engulfed with a gut-wrenching panic and nervousness. Wearing the same shirt as someone else? Anxiety. The teacher called your name off for attendance and you have to say “here"? Anxiety. Walking into class and there’s a group of drop-dead gorgeous girls sitting together? Anxiety. Hell, I even get anxiety when I have to sneeze or cough in class. And don’t get me started on getting up to use the restroom or needing to throw something away during the middle of class. It’s the kind of anxiety that makes you contemplate which is worse: missing an entire lecture or walking into class five minutes late and having 40 pairs of eyes all watching you walk to find a seat without tripping and falling over your anxiety chained ankles. It seems silly, I know. How can someone be afraid to tell their teacher their name? But it happens, and it’s bad. This is all probably a figment of my imagination and I’m sure no one could give two craps about what I do, wear, or look like, but it just seems oh so real when I’m in the moment.

It’s not only face-to-face encounters that light this fire of anxiety in my soul. Social media is sure to do the trick just as well. Whether it's checking Instagram every two minutes to see my "like ratio" or wondering why that boy read my snap 14 minutes ago and has yet to reply. Oh, and God forbid I post a picture without consulting with five of the most qualified photo editors I know, AKA the “Roomie” group chat. If the picture doesn’t get “YES, SLAY” five times with more fire emojis and heart eyes than I can count then it will not be featured on my ever-so-fabulous social media platforms.

Believe me, as crippling as my social anxiety is at the moment, the second I get comfortable I’m an entirely new person. You can say "Goodbye" to the quiet girl who sits in the back corner of the room with her head down and "Hello" to the girl who can’t seem to figure out how to shut her mouth. Don’t get me wrong, there’s always that small bit of anxiety nudging at the back of me, but it's always drowned out by the blatant obnoxiousness of my true self.