17 Questions From The Girl Inside The Tanning Bed
Start writing a post
popular

17 Questions From The Girl Inside The Tanning Bed

Nothing like a burned booty to make you wish you had gone in the stand-up.

12366
17 Questions From The Girl Inside The Tanning Bed
Flickr

When you're enclosed in a human microwave, left with nothing but your thoughts, things can get pretty weird.

1. How many naked people have lied here today?

I wonder if they ACTUALLY cleaned the bed... It's always a question but it never seems to stop me from laying my bare body onto the potentially infected surface.

2. Ew, why is the bed still warm?

Something about a cold bed is more comforting than an uncomfortably warm reminder that you weren't the only naked person to lay here in the last 5 minutes.

3. If I started working here could I tan for free?

Wait. Paid to tan?

4. Why can't I see with these things on?

*Takes off goggles to look at iPhone*

5. How long have I been in here?

*Looks at time*

6. HOW has it only been a couple of minutes?

You know how they say times flies when you're having fun? Well, time takes freaking forever in a tanning bed.

7. Is it weird that I like the way my burning skin smells?

8. Can the woman at the desk can hear me talking to myself?

9. What would happen if there were cameras in here?

10. If I lay facing left for a minute then I'm going to have to lay facing right for a minute, right?

Tan symmetry.

11. Am I golden yet?

12. If I put my face closer to the bulbs will it tan faster?

13. How are my eyes sweating?

Nothing like tight goggles to give you the irreplaceable experience of sweaty eyelids.

14. Why is my butt is on fire?

Nothing like a burned booty to make you wish you had gone in the stand-up.

15. Who even invented Wink-Ease?

Eyewear for peasants.

16. Where's my phone? I must Snap.


17. Why do I have so many blemishes?

Something about the light makes it prime pimple-popping conditions. Weird.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

56029
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

36096
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958064
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

187421
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments