What It Means To Be Passively Suicidal

What It Means To Be Passively Suicidal

I don't want to die, but I do.
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I want to die.

Except I don’t, not really, not all the time. Except I do, but the thought of actually dying is terrifying. I’m not exactly suicidal, but I’m not not suicidal. I’m what my friends and I call, passively suicidal. I want to die, but I’m probably not going to kill myself.

I have only ever been to the point where I was willing to take my own life once, in my freshman year of high school, but the only way I thought I could was with pills and I hated swallowing pills. I got two down before I decided it wasn’t worth it. After that point, I’ve never actively tried to kill myself, but I have gotten to the same point where I was when I tried and lower.

The problem with trying to kill myself is that I would rather take the evil I know over the mystery I don’t. I have no idea what happens after death, so I don’t know if it is better or worse than what I’m going through at any given moment. If the afterlife turns out to be eternal torture, I’d rather feel like a piece of shit here.

The moral of the story is, just because someone isn’t actively trying to kill themselves doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. Just because you’re pretty confident they would never actually kill themselves, that they’re just passively suicidal, doesn’t mean you can put off helping them.

Without a solid support system, there will be a day where they’ll feel like whatever is on the other side has to be better than real life.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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I'm Back With a "Few" Ideas

I've been away from The Odyssey for a full year. 
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        I’ve been away from writing for The Odyssey for a full year now, and some interesting things happen when you tell yourself that you’re going to get back in the game. 

       At the top of the “interesting things that happens when you decide to take a time out from writing list” is an unbreakable, unpleasant, and unmerciful case of writer’s block. 

       You have so much to say, yet can’t force a single word into the keys. You go completely blank and day after day decide that tonight’s work will be tomorrow’s problem. 

       The problem with pushing things back a day, however, is that a the new day will never be guaranteed. Today’s tasks turned tomorrow’s problems might never be complete and the words in my head that I can’t force out might just live and die as nothing more than ideas. 

       I have nothing against ideas; but there has yet to be a single “good” idea that someone other than the creator didn’t know about. For an idea or a group of words to be worth anything, they have to be shared with others. 

       The time we’ve already been given may be the only time we ever receive. 

       I had no idea where to start for this first piece back so I saw it fitting to delve into something short and sweet and hopefully inspire others to start speaking and writing what’s on their minds as I attempt to get back into the game. 

       We all have something to say. Each of us has a voice and it’s now easier than ever to start sharing your ideas with the rest of the world. 

       Make sharing your voice a priority today. If you have something to say, say it. If you have something to share, share it. If you have something to teach, teach it. 

       Nobody cares about thoughts or ideas until they’re able to hear them. 

       F%$@ tomorrow, make it happen today. 

       I’m looking forward to being back on the Odyssey and sharing my voice on my own personal page. I have a ton of things to say and ideas to share and can't wait to share this journey with the people on this platform.

        If there’s anything you'd want to read about from me in the future, or have any feedback on anything I post, go ahead and let me know via email or social media. 

        I’m looking forward more than anything to hearing from the readers of this content and seeing how my ideas were shared. 

       You’ll be hearing more from me soon. In the meantime, go ahead and follow my Odyssey page and find me on social media!

       Until next time,

              Tyler Betustak

                    Facebook: Tyler Betustak

                    Instagram: betustaktyler

                    Snapchat: tyler_99

                    Twitter: Betustaktyler17

       



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STORM3’s “Lost Another Chance” Boasts A Power-Pop and EDM Foundation Perfect For The Radio Airwaves and Dance Floors

Dutch Trio release debut U.S. single full of high NRG electropop
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Emerging Dutch boy band STORM3 have an infectious synthpop number out now on their hands by way of their electropop gem and first U.S. single “Lost Another Chance.” Influenced by today’s electronic dance music sound, the single finds the lads and their harmonious vocals amongst some up-for-it high energy and dance floor drama. It’s the kind of stuff too that’s radio ready considering the continued influx of EDM on the FM airwaves.

STORM3 consists of members Devon Donovan, Koen van der Heide and Patrick la Lau who started the group back in 2015. Although originally written as a ballad, “Lost Another Chance” comes on strong and fierce in its current robust EDM pop incarnation courtesy of some pumping production work from Alpha-X and STORMS’s own van der Heide. The song’s theme is indeed a very universal one and all-around relatable topic. “Lost Another Chance” describes that feeling of insecurity and doubt when you start to like someone but do not know how to act or what to say or do. Even though you may have ‘lost another chance’ as their song proclaims, you can just as well become stronger from those experiences and emotions.

The unified vocal harmonies of Donovan, van der Heid and la Lau indeed elevate the three of them into a solid musical unit as STORM3 on their vibrant “Lost Another Chance” single. Courting catchy synth sounds and gorgeous singing, “Lost Another Chance” is a perfect shiny soundtrack to winter 2018 as we get ready to usher in springtime.



Cover Image Credit: STORM3

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