Upon coming to Dickinson, I had a plethora of goals in my head. I wanted to kick ass in track, help train service dogs, get into other community service groups, expand my harp music repertoire so I could play in church and restaurants, go on trips with the outing club, make Dean's list, explore new things, find a group of like-minded individuals who would inspire me, and most of all, find myself.
Now that this list is all written out -- and I'm probably missing a few things, too -- it's a lot.
But that's the point of setting goals, to push yourself. Now that it's the end of the school year I'm asking myself: How did I do? Well, not the best. Track? I quit that after I realized I was not my dad and wasn't about to break any school records or win the Penn State Relays 4x4 like he did.
Training service dogs? Well, I decided to work at the Peddler instead and occasionally make a pot of coffee. But mostly, just sat there doing homework -- which is definitely not a good trade off to training dogs, in my personal opinion. I like it, but I would have preferred the puppies.
Community service? That just did not happen, whatsoever. Expanding my music repertoire? Well, that would require me to actually take the time to practice, which did not happen. Outing club trips? I went on a few of them, but definitely not to the extent I pictured myself doing. Exploring new things? None whatsoever.
Finding a good group of friends? Kinda. I love them, but I differ from some of them in my work ethic and how I'd like to spend my time. I do not feel inspired to be a better person, or work harder at something. Instead, I feel pressured into going out, when that just isn't my idea of fun. I even wonder how well they know me -- like do any of them even know I'm bisexual? Probably not.
One silver lining, though. I did make Dean's list. Grades were never the focus of my life in high school, I had a harp and could check the Native American box in my application, and I knew those two things combined would give me a huge boost in our messed up college system.
Quite honestly, I don't know how I got into Dickinson. I guess it was the correct decision on their part since I have excelled academically since coming here.
Most of all, though, I sure as hell did find myself. I know I'm not a partier and a drinker, which in a way sucks since that seems to be the only way to really meet people here. But almost any time I go out I'm simply not having fun.
Where are all the people that wanna go on sunrise hikes? Explore the surrounding area? The people that wanna get together and play soccer? Go take pictures and practice yoga? Kayak down a river?
Just do something besides spend all your time getting drunk and/or high, then having to sleep it off, and then cram all your work because you've procrastinated.
I find people all the time that say they want to do these things but never act on it. I thank you to the few I have found who actually will join me on adventures. Unfortunately, one of you is leaving, and I personally do not blame you one bit.
So what am I gonna do about it? Well, I'm already enrolled in a scuba diving class to get into something new, and am currently in the process of starting my own non-profit.
I keep telling myself what clubs I'm getting involved in next year, and I'm telling myself I'll actually going on those outing club trips. Maybe by being more involved in a separate set of clubs I'll be introduced to some more like-minded individuals. If not, then whatever. I'll go on hikes by myself and just look forward to studying abroad a whole year in Greece.
Why am I writing about this? Well, I implore you, think about the goals you had. Maybe they were goals you set for a New Year's resolution. Have you kept up with them?
Maybe you don't really like who you currently are how you currently live. So, make the change. Don't just sit around waiting for something to happen 'cuz it won't unless you change something. If you don't have any goals or haven't set any, maybe you should. Or at least try a new hobby or sport. I believe you should always be an amateur at something.
