What is Love?

What Is Love?

Baby Don’t Hurt Me, Don’t Hurt Me, No More

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Love has got to be, without a doubt, the most difficult thing in this entire world to define. Given the surplus of ideas that individuals have to swirl in their head about love, I thought I'd address a few.

Love is the absolute surrender of yourself to someone you truly care about. When you love someone, you trust them entirely. Love isn't abstaining from talking to anyone your partner might get “jealous" over, it's having mutual respect for your lover. They will trust you if you give them reason to trust you and vice versa.

Love is not losing sight of yourself and doing everything you can to please your partner, it's the understanding that, although you are in love, you don't have to spend every second together, like the same things, or have the same interests.

Love is an alliance of two separate bodies, two separate people. Expecting your significant other to never have differing views from you and never have disagreements only leads to impossible standards.

In accordance with that, love is not a relationship that has zero fights. Disagreements happen, we are all created unique. Fighting in relationships is a test to see how the two parties react. In these tests, you can choose to not listen, elevate the situation, get angry, say things you regret, disrespect someone you love, and the list goes on.

Or

You can choose to try to understand where the person you care so much about is coming from, refuse to say anything you don't mean and speak with patients. There are multiple ways to solve disagreements and conflicts, fighting over them is the most immature of attempts.

Love is a battle. It's fighting through adversity with your knight in shining armor or your heroine goddess. It is the fondest of times and the hardest thing you will ever go through.

But if you believe in the idea that you are exactly where you're meant to be in the universe at any point in time, and you go through all of those memories, the good and the bad, together and you make it out in one piece to the other side, THAT is when you'll find long, sustaining happiness with someone for the rest of your life.

As rare as that is, we as a society want to fall in love so badly, sometimes we try and force it.

Think of a baby playing with shapes and they have to put the shapes into a cube. If you match a square with the outline of a circle and keep trying to push it through, you're going to get frustrated and worn out. Practice patience, be selective, wait for your right fit.

Because you'll know it when it finds you and all the struggles in your past will have been worth it.

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Summer In College Is For More Than Just Working

No, you're never to hold to have fun in the summer.

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There should never be an age where you stop having fun in the summer. The weather is nice, there are always things to do, and everyone is just naturally happier. So, regardless of whether you're 7 or 21, I'm talking to you.

During the year it can be hard to find a routine unless you are a very put together person. Sadly, I am not. Even when I tell myself I'm going to eat healthily, work out, and stop procrastinating, I usually don't follow through with that. At school, I find myself in somewhat of a constant catch-up mode. When I feel like I'm ahead on my homework or studying, that usually means I'm behind on being healthy in other aspects of my life. That is why I love summer. It's a chance to reset the clock for a second and catch your breath.

I get that having an internship or working is important for your post-graduation life, but having fun is important for your college years too. When you get a job in the real world, summer is going to look a lot different for you. That is why it's best to take advantage of the time now. This doesn't mean turning down that work experience, it means doing things other than just working.

First things first is finding a hobby you enjoy that you don't do at school. Pick it up for a little over the summer. Why not? For me, this is yoga. For whatever reason, I find myself too nervous to attend yoga classes at school. I have absolutely no reason to be anxious about doing something I like, but I am so I take the time to attend a few classes a week in the summer.

Secondly, try reading. Before you make that look of disgust on your face, think about the last time you read a book of your choosing. If it was recently, then kudos to you for managing your time well enough to do that. If you are not that person, then hello! I am talking to you. I am not a fan of reading because I usually associate it with homework. However, I find that when I have the time to browse the book section of a store for a few seconds, I find multiple books that jump out at me. During the summer I take the opportunity to read a little here and there. The nice part of leisure reading over school reading is that there's no deadline. You can read what you want when you want to.

Finally, learn something new. Again I usually associate learning with things that I am required to learn for my major. Learning something new that interests you is a different kind of rush. When I'm bored in class, I make bucket lists of little things I want to learn about. They can be big or small. One time I wanted to learn how to knit. Don't ask me why my 19-year-old self thought it would be sweet to sit on my porch in the summer knitting, but I did, and I'm kind of sad I didn't pursue that interest. When might I ever have time to learn how to knit again?

These might sound like quirky things to do, but you're young. Make a bucket list and try to cross one thing off each weekend. If you're like me, then you're a little scared of growing up. Scared you won't be able to accomplish all the things you want to. But, the fact of the matter is no one is going to make you accomplish them but you. So, take some initiative and do them. Summer is for more than just working; it's time to live a little and reset the clock.

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College Made Me Feel Like I Can't Have Free Time

Every second that I do have free, I feel like I need to be working on some type of homework.

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There's no doubt that college is taxing on most student's mental health. You get to the point where you feel stressed about even breathing. I have hit the point where I feel like I'm permanently affected by the stress that I've dealt with this semester.

I used to have so much free time. Even in my other semesters, I had time to hang out with my friends, work, and even be lazy when I wanted to be.

I was still a good student, I got all my assignments done on time and I worked hard on them, but I never really had an overwhelming workload.

That is, until this semester. I got to a point where work was overwhelming, I was working longer hours than I was used to, and having to spend every second that I wasn't in class or at work doing homework, whether it was just lengthy math problems or writing multiple essays or scripts.

After months of being in this habit, when my workload from both work and school died down and I actually had free time, I didn't know what to do with myself.

When my friends were busy and I just wanted a relaxing day at home, since I felt like I deserved it, I would try to just lay down and rest, either reading a good book or catching up on all the shows that my stress had caused me to miss.

But there was always a voice in the back of my head reminding me of every upcoming assignment. I would start thinking about the essay due the next week, or a test that I could be studying for ahead of time.

That voice kept telling me I was being unproductive and wasting my time if I wasn't getting ahead on school work when I finally had the time.

And so I'm still in a position, at the end of the semester, where I feel like I'm wasting my time every time I lay down and just want to take a nap because I'm exhausted from running between work and school. I'm trying to fight myself and tell myself that I am allowed to be lazy for at least a little bit, and I don't need to be constantly working.

Hopefully, that voice wins over, especially with summer coming up. With all of the free time, I'll have since I won't have to stress about school, hopefully, I'll be able to better balance my busy days with my lazy days.

I know this is probably an issue for many college students who are overwhelmed with everything that they have to do. Hopefully, summer break is a nice break for all of us and it gives us the chance to get the free time that we all deserve for surviving this semester, and the school year overall.

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