You can never have control over him. Love does not understand sexes, ages, you can not even buy a ticket that ensures a long lasting relationship with that impressive chemistry generated in our body when we begin to fall in love. In short, true love is neither bought nor sold. And there is not only one type of love. You can feel the love towards a mother, the love towards a brother, the love towards a son ... but in the majority of occasions, this love endures endlessly throughout life.
One of those who makes us feel incredible internal feelings is the love that comes to other people without us even looking for it. And when this happens to us we feel the magic of being in love. In this article you will know everything about love as a couple, that really cause us strange emotions and sometimes so misunderstood.
Love: What is it? Meaning and definition
Giving meaning to love or defining what love is is not an arduous task. Not even the definition of love is the same seen from different points of view as it is from the psychological, scientific or even seen from a personal perspective.
Imagine that you meet someone who attracts you and with whom you would not hesitate to maintain a loving relationship. You probably have physical symptoms such as a ragged voice, or you start to sweat or even have nerves in your stomach, and, in the absence of it, your brain triggers constant thoughts referring to it. Will you like it? Can I get your phone? What topics will you like to talk about? What can I say to make her smile?
Love is a feeling that we suffer towards a person that seems attractive to us and we try to make that feeling also demonstrable by the other person. Love should make us feel that the other person completes us and also share moments of intimate relationships.
But love is in fact totally natural, it is an instinct of the human race with which we physically choose the person who seems most attractive in order to procreate.
Also, it does not have to be said attractive person for all, in fact, you may have seen couples on the street where you think that one of the people who compose it is not physically attractive. Precisely this happens because there is an unconscious part in which you do not govern or can control and this is what makes love arise without even having the ability to choose who, how or when.
What is not love?
When we are in search of a partner, there are times that we force the situation too much that we do not even end up finding what we were looking for.
We look for emotional relationships in applications to look for couples, we go out in discos to dance trying to find the ideal couple but is this really love? The brain has a reward system whose function is simply to generate dopamine - that neurotransmitter responsible for providing the body with pleasure - and this system is highly affected especially when we are enjoying a night of a dance under the effects of drugs such as alcohol. Alcohol makes us feel good because it floods our reward system much better than when we have intimate relationships, eat or perform some kind of physical activity and these passionate loves are what we confuse with love as a couple but there are distinctions.
Passion is what happens at that moment but authentic love is one that has a characteristic of long duration and also instead of noticing that passionate debauchery with the other person we attend more to other details such as empathy and the constant concern to make people feel well to that person with whom we maintain a love relationship.
Love according to psychology (triangular theory of love)
To understand what love is from a psychological perspective, one of the people who worked the most to make us understand what love is like was a renowned psychologist named Robert Steinberg. According to the triangular theory of love, it is composed of three clearly remarkable features:
- Passion: can also be understood as that primary part where we look first when we begin to fall in love. It's just that physical attraction or romantic status we feel when we think we're falling in love but we do not yet really know what that person is like.
- Intimacy: love requires a commitment on the part of both people but maintaining intimate relationships is part of that commitment.
- The commitment: at this point, we understand that love is like a plant in which if it is not watered constantly it will end up withering. On the one hand, a person may feel a certain attachment towards another, even coming to love but without feeling compromised so that this is a relationship of lasting love. On the other hand, we can feel that need to commit ourselves in a loving relationship but with a long and lasting duration.
With these three compounds we can form the well-known "triangle of love" and in which, as we can see in the image, each one of the components is part of what love is. What is love according to psychology What is love according to psychology What is love according to psychology. These three elements have their own meaning each individually but for that true love to exist, it will be necessary that at least these three exist in a united way.
All are intimately related. For example, if love as a couple has a strong commitment, intimacy and passion will probably be increased as well. For this reason, many people wonder why love produces that "high" of self-esteem and when it ceases to exist it hurts so much. As we have seen, dopamine is one of the neurotransmitters responsible for this state of ecstasy, whereas when love ends, the mind is clouded as much as when that addicted person has stopped receiving their ration of affection, affection, and attachment to that person.
Be that as it may, if you are enjoying this wonderful stage you should pay much more attention to that enjoyment that happens instead of looking at what we should do to make love last.