I think that when we're young, we don't think about our parents a lot.

Most of the times, well... we pretty much think that what they do is already entitled to us. We think that they're supposed to pack our lunch for us or that they're supposed to take care of all those financial issues for us and that they're supposed to clean up after us. It feels like we, as children, think that it's an innate part of parenting that has always and will ever be a part of them.

And so, we miss a lot of factors about them.

We don't consider them as too important... just a... a mere necessity.

People who we depend on day after day.

Oftentimes, I think about my mother especially.

I think about all the things she's done for my siblings and I and all the things she's continuing to do for us.

It's not like I want to superficially say that I'm appreciative of her... It's not that I'm trying to say that I'm in a different category than those who don't realize a parent's worth.

I fall into those hands that make me oblivious of her care too.

Really —

I'm not trying to prove that I'm perfect and flawless.

I'm not trying to prove that.

I just feel like sometimes, they will believe that we're not appreciative of them.

And this — I'm talking about years and years later, or maybe not that long after, but some time when we do realize the true worth of a parent. We do realize that they do so much for us and we do realize that they're human beings too. We realize that they're not just a necessity in life but someone we can hold on to.

Because we love them.

And it's as simple as that.

But sometimes after that moment that we realize all this — after we realize how unappreciative we were, I feel like sometimes that person we never appreciated of until that exact moment doesn't realize this. It's just... it's just that exact feeling that you get... you know? When you're trying to show that you care about them after years of not uttering a single "I love you." That exact feeling when they say these hurtful things — and really hurtful when you've now opened your eyes and register those words as not being annoying, but actually painful.

And it does hurt.

Really — seriously — I'm being completely honest when I tell you that.

I understand that what she says is true. I understand that what she says is because she herself loves me and wants me to grow up to become someone respectable and kind. I understand that what she says should be taken to heart... but sometimes I just can't.

I can't listen.

Before, I would've just been plain irritated at her words, but when I actually realized how I've been unappreciative, it actually hurt. I didn't expect it to, but it did out of its own volition.

And it was painful.

Really painful.

Sometimes I wanted to just sit there and tell her "I know" over and over and over and over again until my voice was gone, and my face was red, but I could only internalize that phrase. I want to tell her that I'm trying to help her now. I want to tell her that I'm trying to be that good daughter who takes her mother's wise advice.

And I wish she didn't have to tell me that I don't appreciate her at all because I do now.

I want to tell her that I understand.

That I know.

I know.

I know.

I just have to show it to her and tell her. I just have to stop internalizing it all. I just have to put my feelings and thoughts out there and spread it out as raw as it is.

So, to my mother: let me show this appreciation to you.

"I love you."

"I understand."

Let me prove it to you.

Let me explain.

Let me speak.

"I'm sorry."

I'm sorry for not realizing how unappreciative I was.

Just...

Just let me make it up to you, okay?

Please?

I think that when we're young, we don't think about our parents a lot.

But as time passes, it's like something so literal and tangible grows within us and then as if someone has finally flicked on the switch, we realize that we never really did appreciate them.