Most things don't happen on accident. I think even when you think something was a mistake, it wasn't. See, I believe our story may already be written in permanent ink, no matter how hard we try to rewrite them. I don't think anyone really makes a wrong turn; what's for you shall not pass you. It goes back to the all time famous saying, "everything happens for a reason", which can be extremely overused. Since this phrase is thrown around like confetti at every misfortune, more and more people have began to hate that saying. And now, I can see why. If you know me, you know I have been struggling for the last month with a Labral Tear in my hip, and had to do the unthinkable- sit out of the Boston Marathon.

It's almost as if everyone's first reaction when something bad happens, is that there is a reason. What if, there is no reason? Maybe it just happened that way, because it just happened. Our society has normalized finding a reason for every single situation, when there may actually be, no reason.

It is comforting in a sense to make a direct correlation for why you feel something in your past had to have happened in order to lead you to your future.

But don't waste your time going looking for a reason that may not exist. If there was a reason, then it will come to you; in the middle of the day, when you're completely distracted and your mind is wondering. It will hit you, out of no where, when you are least expecting it. When we go searching, we can stumble across things we weren't ready to accept or find. And that can be extremely hard, because we may think we are able to handle the truth, but often times the wounds aren't healed.

Recently, I have been over-analyzing this particular event that has hugely impacted my life. I have a lot of support, and so many loved ones telling me it happened for a reason; and that it's teaching me patience, strength and prioritizing my health. I tried to come up with every reason for why God may have been trying to teach me a lesson. Or why He to put me down this path, why did He choose me to walk down this dark road?

I spent so many days doubting, crying, searching, justifying. All it lead me to was a dead end...

No matter how hard I tried, I could not come up with a reason for why this was happening. Every reason I listed just seemed cruel; and simply put, God wouldn't do that.

I remember this one moment listing reasons to my cousin as to why I thought this happened. Then, she interrupted me and said, "Maybe there is no reason. Maybe it just happened.", I was confused. No one else in my family had said anything like that to me, and it was such a breath of fresh air. I remember so vividly feeling the weight lifted off my shoulders; I didn't have to find a reason. It was like she heard me silently pleading for someone to tell me it was okay to not know why it happened. I just needed someone to tell me that it was out of my control and that it is okay.

Yes, I do believe somethings happen for a reason, and those reasons are up to God himself. But the moment you take on the burden of obsessing over why something had to happen, then it no longer becomes a blessing. We become so consumed in the why, that we forget about the how.

Personally, I was in denial. Denial can be like a warm, cozy, fuzzy hug. It wraps you up in comfort and protects you from reality. It feels safe. It took me sometime to realize that I was the problem. Yes, I was the problem. I abused my body and pushed it to the limit for this one goal. I did not listen when it asked for rest, or for sweets, or for less miles. I kept going. By trying to be the best version of myself, I did the exact opposite. I learned the hard way that no one is invincible. I'm not immune to injury just because I run marathons, if anything I am more susceptible.

I was the cause, and now I will deal with the effect. But I'm no longer dwelling on the unanswered questions. I can spend my whole life trying to figure out the explanation, or I can just let it be. Choose to pick yourself by your boot straps, it is what it is, and move on.

I used to think that not having an answer meant I was losing faith, and that without finding the reason that God did this, then I was slowly drifting away from my beliefs.

Faith is believing when you can't see. Faith is trusting even when you're unsure. Faith is having the courage to let God take the wheel. Faith is accepting any possible outcome, because you know that God will never steer you wrong. Faith is not only believing when things are perfect. Faith is not hoping, faith is trusting. Faith is not having proof.

There can be peace in uncertainty. There can be comfort in surrendering. So the next time you are driving yourself crazy to find the reason for why everything in your life is going "wrong", give it up. Let go. Understand that it is okay for things not to look picture perfect. There are times in your life when things will crumble to the ground, but it is necessary. For no reason, other than it just had to happen in order for your life to stay on it's written path. Let that be enough. In this case, ignorance may be bliss. Then one day, you will look back and understand that the pieces fell into their exact place.