Growing up, I learned that some people just are not meant to be in your life permanently. When you hear the stories, people always go on and on about how much happier they are without those people and how it was the best decision of their lives. What they don't tell you is that it isn't always like that. While a lot of the time it is for the best, the happiness may not come right away.
A couple of months ago, I had come to an awful realization. I found myself no longer happy with the friendship I had shared with someone that had been one of my best friends for years. I didn't know what to do. I still cared about them, the connection just wasn't there anymore and the most I spent time with them, the more I realized that.
It left me feeling lost. Breaking down all the scenarios on what was the best decision.
After what felt like a lifetime of thoughts (and unfortunately a few mistakes made) I opened up and told them how I had felt and why I was being as distant as I was.
As expected, it didn't go well. It ended with a click of a button. Hang up, unfriend, unfollow, followed by some indirect, direct tweets.
To add fuel to fire, the friend group we shared did the same.
The first few weeks absolutely sucked. I felt empty, heartbroken that I had to do that to someone I still cared so much for. I knew very well that I had left them with thoughts of what they did wrong, constant questions of their own actions when in reality, our interests had changed. I no longer found myself sharing laughs with them but faking a smile for the sake of their happiness despite my own.
As time went on, I knew that while the outcome was definitely not what I wanted, it was what I needed. I was no longer happy with the friendship at hand and was doing more harm to us both pretending to be.
While they all most likely hate my guts for the way things had happened. I could never hate theirs. The memories we had shared, both the good and the bad, are memories I will cherish for a lifetime. Memories that I plan to share with my kids someday. They were there for my darkest days and my brightest, just as I was for theirs. As much as it's heartbreaking, some people just grow apart. Interests change, we change.
I didn't want to cut ties but knew in order for us to grow, it was what I needed to do.
Everything happens for a reason. Maybe our paths will cross again someday and we can reconnect and rekindle the friendship we once shared. For now, I'll continue to cheer from the parking lot, out of sight, but always there.
Or they could hate me forever, only time will really tell. While they may not read this if in the chance they do...
Just because the friendships didn't work out, didn't mean I ever stopped caring. Or ever stopped loving. The memories we shared are unforgettable. I'm sorry things happened the way that they did, I know I hurt you and that was the least of my intention. But I did what I had to do...and never forget...
Ohana means family, I know I had to leave you behind, but you will never ever be forgotten, and I will always love you.
~The original 6~