What happens after two years has ended with the person who you thought, who was supposed to be, your forever? What do you do after your best friend destroyed everything that you were and left you a shell of your former self?

How do you come back from that?

Before.

He was suffocating you. You couldn't do anything without his permission. What you wore, where you went, who you went with, when you went. Everything was up to him. He could do whatever he wanted, but your life was at his mercy. You were once his queen; now you were his slave.

He'd try to guilt you into staying home. Telling you how long of a day he had and he just wanted to come home and talk to you. He'd attack what you wore. All of a sudden you were a slut and an attention whore. Why would you dress like that unless you wanted to hook up with a bunch of guys at a party?

After he made you feel like you were two inches tall, he'd apologize. He was so sorry, he was an ass, you didn't deserve to be treated that way, he loved you so much, he just wanted to protect you. It was an ongoing loop that always ended in an overload of affection. You began associating cuteness with anger.

One day you just had enough. He freaked out on you for asking to go somewhere with one of your friends. And that was it. You snapped. You knew you couldn't do it anymore. It was going to kill you to stay with him. He had destroyed enough of you.

You were done.

During.

You can still hear him screaming over and over again, "Don't leave me." You almost gave in just so he would stop. But you held your ground and said goodbye. You couldn't breathe. Your chest felt like it was caving in on itself. You couldn't inhale or exhale. Your roommates had to hold you up to keep you from dropping to the ground in a pile of broken memories.

It was horrifying. The realization that you wouldn't talk to him every morning or go see him after work was petrifying. For two years you guys had the same routine. You were going to have to start over again. New person, new memories, new everything. It was going to be exhausting.

He had been your best friend for two years, and then all of a sudden he wasn't. You felt alone. Yet at the same time relieved.

You were finally free.

After.

There was a lull period. You still talked for a few weeks even after the breakup. You knew you shouldn't have because it made it harder on both of you, but you couldn't help it sometimes. He was still your best friend. It was so hard not to talk to him, tell him about your day, call him.

Eventually, it all ended. You just stopped talking. It was almost eerie. You barely talked to anyone or did anything. You didn't know how to do anything without having someone there to tell you that you could or couldn't. You hid in your room and tried not to think about how much it hurt.

Everything reminded you of him. Certain songs, places, food. Every memory you had from the past two years had him attached to it. It started to become annoying, and before you realized it, your pain turned to anger.

You were furious at him for ruining you. You felt so small and useless. You didn't know how to function without that control hovering over you all the time. You would catch yourself wondering if he would approve of you doing this or that. If when you got home you would get into a huge argument. Guys would ask for your number, and you felt like you had to say no.

It was over, and he still had so much control over you.

Now.

It has been months since you broke up. You're back in school and doing relatively OK. The old cliche stands true; everything gets better with time. You can listen to those songs again and all those memories don't hurt to think about anymore. You have friends again.

Actually, you have a lot of friends once you think about it. You go out and do things with them all the time now. There's no fear anymore of making him angry.

There's no fear at all anymore. You're free to live your life the way you were meant to. You think back to how bad it was before and how much you've grown. The whole situation was horrible, but you learned so much about yourself and about him.

You realized that you were stronger than you thought. You got out of an impossible situation that many people don't even realize they are in before it's too late.

You realized that you don't deserve that. That no matter how much you validated what he did, there was no excuse for it. But you have forgiven him for it.

There's no point in being angry about something you can't change or control. The only thing you can do is hope that he learned and won't ever do it to anyone ever again. No one deserves to feel like they're two inches tall.

I promise no matter what stage you're at, it gets better. You might think your whole world is crashing down around you, but it's not. You have to understand that what he's doing isn't love.

He may love you, but this isn't the way he's supposed to show it. And maybe he will change one day. Maybe he will grow and become the man you always thought of him as. But for now, you can't be together

As much as you may not want to think about it, you'll find someone new. Someone who treats you like you always deserved to be treated. Someone who reminds you what love is actually supposed to be like.

I hated the thought of being with anyone else but him, and here I am sitting next to my best friend listening to him play guitar surrounded by our friends.

I promise it gets better. You'll get through it, just like I did.