Time after time, I find myself letting other people and circumstances determine my emotions. When I let this happen I am often unhappy, and I stress over the bad, forgetting to look for the good. But God is good and perfect, He has a plan for our life and works things out for the good of those who love Him. I know this. However, sometimes I need to really feel His love, not just know that He loves me. I feel His love most when I realize how faithful He has been in my life and see that He really does work things out for my good, even when I think that no good can come of my situation.
When I lost my hair due to Alopecia and suffered for years- what I didn't know is that He would draw me near to Him and teach me so much through this experience, something that is invaluable to me now.
When I contemplated playing volleyball my senior year, a sport that I loved so much- what I didn't know is that He would gift our team with a region championship, upper state championship, and a chance to play at the state championship. These memories are so precious to me and I am so glad that I chose to play.
When that boy that I so wanted to be with left- what I didn't know is that God would use this to strengthen my heart, prepare me for future relationships, and show me my true worth.
When I was complaining about a mandatory eight AM college freshman class- what I didn't know is that He was sowing some of the most Godly, sweet, encouraging friendships in this.
When my hair started falling out a lot because of stress at the beginning of my freshman year of college- what I didn't know is that He would help me find my solid identity in Him through this.
When I was stressing over final exams and praying over the next semester- what I didn't know is that He had a plan, my hard work would pay off and I would ace my exams and have a great next semester.
When I was stressing over a roommate and dorm room for my spring semester- what I didn't know is that He would gift me with an amazing roommate that is now one of my closest friends, and a cozy dorm room that I love.
When I locked my keys in my car after an already stressful week- what I didn't know is that He was painting this beautiful night sky for me to see while I was driving home. And I would relive that very stressful week all over again just to see this gorgeous moon and sky full of bright stars and feel, not just know that He loves me, but really feel His love right there in my car.
My point is: don't give other people or circumstances power over your emotions. Look for the good in people and situations. After all, joy wouldn't be joy without pain. Without horrible conditions, you would loose the ability to appreciate good things and the feeling of true joy. Our Heavenly Father makes beautiful things out of my messes. He knows your needs and He gives you endless opportunities to seek Him, the source of true joy. Take a moment to stop and look, and accept His good gifts. As Tennyson would say "To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."