Losing a parent at a young age turns your world upside down.

The whole foundation of your household has now been bulldozed… you have to rebuild a new normal. The same goes with your view of the world and relationships with people.

SEE ALSO: What You Learn After Losing A Parent At A Young Age

All of this tends to create bumps in the road, but there are a few pros to help balance the cons.

1. If someone catches you in a bad mood, you can be really insensitive.

I hope that I haven’t hurt anyone by devaluing their difficulties while I was dealing with my own. I’m sorry I can be so calloused at times. I wish things were different, but the truth is so many “tragic” things have happened already that my definition of tragic has changed. That does not mean everyone else’s has too, but in my head it does. I make an effort to try and remember this.

Just as a point to make for everyone- your hard time does not become smaller just because another person is going through something worse. We are all trying to be our happiest. Something getting in the way of that should be acknowledged. If you have some of your innocence still intact that’s a great thing that should be appreciated.

2. When you aren't in a bad mood, you are one of the most empathetic people in the room.

Although the ability to be empathetic is sort of hardwired in you, I think that going through something like this at a young age definitely heightens your empathy. You start to realize very young that this world is filled with many difficult obstacles. You have hit rock bottom yourself, and you hope that no one else has to experience that.

When you hear about a peer losing a parent your heart breaks for them. You know it is only the beginning of a long hard road. This sensitivity makes you more caring towards those having a hard time.

3. You become either completely responsible or irresponsible.

When you lose a parent, a lot is left up to you. You have to make decisions and choose how you’re going to act. There’s only one set of eyes watching you now. This applies more so if you lose a mom since moms tend to be more hands-on and watchful. Everything my mom did decision-wise for me, I had to quickly learn to do by myself. It made me wildly independent, but it was hard in the moment. I had to teach myself so many things… shaving, makeup, you name it.

I love my dad and I turned out fine, but I had plenty of opportunities to not turn out fine. At this point, I rose to the occasion. However, many end up using the loss of a parent as an excuse to party and turn to drug abuse. This kind of event in a young person’s life tends to result in an extreme state of responsibility or irresponsibility.

4. You very quickly outgrow your peers in maturity.

You see the world differently now. You know that not everything is sunshine and rainbows. You can’t help but point out that there are more serious things than why Chad broke up with Brittany yesterday. For me, I became so used to fending for myself and making my own decisions that it felt like I practically grew up at 16 when I got my job. When I tell people that I’m 18 they are shocked, specifically when I’m training people at work. They assume I’m 20 or older.

Hyper-maturity is great for a job but makes it harder to relate to your peers. You just don’t see eye to eye anymore. And you can forget trying to date someone younger. The people you date have to be older to meet up with your maturity.

5. You become the one with emotional baggage.

For at least a short time, maybe a long time, you become the designated baggage bearer. I say this because for a while, and still to some degree now, I could not see myself dating someone that lives in a broken/grieving home. There was (still kinda is) no way I could date a guy whose mom or dad died (or is in jail, had left, etc). Maybe not no way, but no healthy way. At least one of us needs to have a fully functioning family. We need some kind of balance.

This applies outside of dating too. I feel like the whole community around you just kinda avoids talking about anything emotional around you for a while. It’s like you’re given the “traumatic event spotlight” for a period of time.

6. You look for attention/validation/security (honestly many things).

Hopefully, this isn’t one of the things I dealt with very obviously. The amount of attention I got as a 10-year-old after my mom passed dropped dramatically. My mom was “the attention giver” in the house so I went from constantly having someone at my side celebrating my wins and supporting my losses, to well… nothing.

If you lose a parent that was very involved, your life very much so takes a turn for the worse. Kids need attention. They need to be validated, affirmed, taught, lectured. I was left searching for more. Luckily, I didn’t very seriously go hunting for attention like many kids end up doing. I did probably dig for it some, but the majority of the time I just kinda sat with my discomfort quietly. My self-esteem probably suffered for it.

7. You become a badass.

Sorry not sorry, but when literally the worst thing I thought could happen to me happened, I started to realize that nothing can keep me down forever. With the help of God, I can live without fear. I used to wonder if I could handle something so terrible happening to me. Now the question is not “can I handle something?” but “how will I handle something?”.

If losing my mom has taught me anything, it’s how to adapt. When I see an obstacle, I don’t freak out. I analyze the problem and then take steps to solving it. There were so many decisions I had to make and problems I had to fix that this became a lifestyle for me. I change and edit my plans all the time based on what comes my way. Nothing is set in stone. It’s turned me into a badass that can really take on anything.

In conclusion, the death of a parent really takes its toll on a kid. These are important points to keep in mind if you know one, have one, or are one.

If you know a child or teen that has lost a parent, give them space but also try to help them carry the load. Remind them about picture day coming up and the test next week. They already have so much to do and remember.

If you have one, you need to focus on giving them more attention than you did before. You aren’t hyping them up too much by showing excitement over how they started in the basketball game last night or got an A on their test. Your kid needs more affirmation than before. If you are one… keep these things in mind. Know that your feelings have reasons behind them. You’re not mean, weird, or crazy. You just have to be aware of your behavior.