Some kids that are adopted get the luxury of hearing things like, "I never would've guessed you were adopted if you wouldn't have told me!" Anyone who takes a look at my family can obviously tell that something is different about me. I'm mixed; my family is white. So my entire life has been filled with questions regarding my family.

"Are you related to any of your family members?"

"How did they find you?"

"How old were you when you were adopted?"

"What's it like being mixed in an all-white family?"

Don't get me wrong- it's not like I mind being asked these questions. People are curious, and I totally get it! From the outside-looking-in, the origin of our family is kind of difficult to understand. However, in this article I'm mainly going to be discussing not how we came together, but what it has meant to me.

I grew up living with my mom until I was 9 years old, and she made the decision (for the better) that she could no longer take care of me. This caused a lot of confusion and bitterness in me for a long time, but that story is another article for another day. When I officially moved in with my dad (who actually adopted me when I was an infant- confusing, I know), stepmom (Betty), and four sisters, I had no clue how different life was going to be for me. I jumped from one set of parents and parenting styles to another overnight, and it was a huge adjustment for me.

As a teen who struggled with figuring out exactly who God was to me, abandonment anxiety, and identity issues (I mean, being half-black with a southern accent wasn't exactly normal), I trained myself to focus on the problems around me for so long. All I could think of is how lucky my sisters were because they could say, "I got my eyes from my mom," or, "I'm probably going to be tall like Daddy." I labeled myself as an outsider- like I'd never really be one of them because I didn't really come from either parent. I shut myself out, and refused to mesh into my family because I felt that I didn't belong.

One day, I had gotten in a playful argument with my dad when he said, "You know you get your arguing skills from Betty, right? I can't win with either of you!" This one comment changed my entire perspective. I had been brooding in self-pity for years just because I didn't inherit my looks or natural genes from my parents when I could've been celebrating the fact that I can easily hold my weight in any argument like Betty (trust me, it comes in handy); she bred in me my sense of independence that kept me from getting into so much unnecessary boy drama. I learned to have an inexplicable appreciation for classical music and musicals like my dad; he's the one who taught me that a daily kiss on the forehead is literally life changing. I could go on and on forever. I got so many things from my parents that I had been overlooking because I was too busy focusing on what I didn't have.

The main concept of my life that adoption has taught me is that you have to learn to use your "problems" to find your possibilities. I believe that I've grown to know God in a more intimate way because of the fact that He showed me consistency and stability when I felt like there was nothing stable in my life. The unconditional love that my parents had for me even when I fought them for years- their willingness to take me in despite my resistance and rebellion has painted such a beautiful picture of God's love for me. I tried to shut Him out, and that only motivated Him to work harder to show me His love for me just like my parents did.

When I've said that I'm adopted, I've had people apologize or act embarrassed by it as if it were an unfortunate thing, but I promise that it isn't. It's something that I celebrate regularly! Even though it took a long time for me to realize it, my dad adopting me all those years ago was the best thing that could've happened to me. Because of his and Betty's love for me, I now know my heavenly Father's love so deeply. For that, I am forever grateful.