A man approaches me trying to sell his selfie sticks.

“Nǐ hǎo! Kon'nichiwa! Annyeonghaseyo?”

I love the effort sir but it’s just “hello.”

Or is it?

While I was studying abroad, it was the first time I felt different being an Asian American. Being stuck between two cultures. Should I call myself Korean or should I call myself American? It seemed obvious growing up among all my predominately white peers. Oh, I’m definitely Korean. I grew up with Korean culture. Then I went to Italy for three months and had an identity crisis. Of course when in Rome, I went to buy some water and the vendor asked, “Oh, Chinese? Nǐ hǎo? Coreano?”

Something about that made me so angry, I yelled back, “No! Americano!” and I took my (very expensive) bottle of water and stormed away. But I’m not just American.

It was at that moment I realized I was not fully connected with either part of my culture. I could never be Korean. The fact that I have trouble relating to an actual Korean, from Korea, shows that I am obviously not part of the same culture. Yet, what does it even mean to be American? A Korean, born and raised in America, isn't any more American than a Korean raised in China is Chinese. And this is my mother's situation exactly. Though she was born and raised in China, she told me she would never identify herself as Chinese. She never thought of calling herself Korean-Chinese; it just doesn’t sound right. So then why do I feel like I need to call myself Korean-American?

I once believed this confusion had something to do with the American culture -- whatever American culture is-- that has the ability to change so many people’s perspectives. I had thought most second-generation Americans would feel the same way, depending on time and place, but I found myself totally wrong. I couldn’t help but ask my friends for their opinions,

Here are some of the answers they gave me:

(Shubhangi) North Indian, born in India, raised in the U.S.

“I'm an Indian who grew up in America..Americanness has rubbed off on me. But my value system, the culture I relate to mostly is Indian. But being an immigrant, I can not deny how living in America has shaped my perspective. Americanness is definitely a part of my identity, just not predominantly.”

“It's interesting because immigrants manage their multicultural identity in very different ways. It says a lot about their personality, like what they choose to keep and what not.”

(Sabrina) Sri Lankan/ British, born and raised in the U.S.

“I consider myself a weird hybrid of Sri Lankan, American, and British from my parent's experience there. But primarily American, if anyone asks me where I most strongly identify myself with. my parents weren't raised in Sri Lanka or the states, so I'm disconnected from Sri Lankan heritage in some ways…[I’d say I’m American] But obviously when most people ask it's because they want to know where I'm "ethnically" from so...But let's say I happened to be abroad, I'd definitely 100% say American. But most people probably see me as Indian.”

(Maria) Mexican, born and raised in the U.S.

“...I guess Mexican since my family is from Mexico. But I definitely consider myself more American than Mexican ….I feel like that's how it is in America, like a lot of people who come here end up considering themselves Asian-American, Mexican-American etc...And I think people also refer to themselves differently, like I wouldn't normally say I'm Mexican American I would just say I'm Mexican but I would also say that I feel a lot more American than Mexican.”

(Amanda) Taiwanese, born and raised in U.S.

(Parents born in Taiwan, raised in Brazil)

“I would consider myself to be a mix of everything - Taiwanese, Brazilian, and American...because I grew up with the mix of cultures and not necessarily only one.”

“My mom just said that she’s a mix but she’s “mostly American” because she’s lived here the longest.”

“My dad said that he would consider himself a mix of all of them because the culture he was raised in was Taiwanese, but his values and how he grew up was influenced by Brazil and Brazilian culture, but he started and raised a family in the US and that affects him.”

“And (LOL) my brother just said “Asian American” And I asked him if he would identify himself as Brazilian and he said, “no, why?” And he has said, “Brazil is America, too.”

(Anna) Chinese, born and raised in the U.S.

“I consider myself Chinese American. I am Chinese because my parents are Chinese but I was born in America and grew up here. However, I consider myself more Chinese than American because my cultural background is more based off of China's. I also speak a dialect at home with my parents and other family members. The foods I eat are also different from the typical American family which always consists of a bowl of rice with every meal.”

(Cindy) Chinese, born and raised in the U.S.

“I identify as Chinese American both b/c i guess my ethnicity/by blood I’m 100% Chinese and b/c my culture and upbringing is exactly that. Even though I was born here, my parents are 1st gen immigrants from China. And since they grew up and lived a good part of their lives there, Chinese culture and language was a big part of my life growing up. I also grew up in New York where there’s a pretty big Chinese American/Asian American community so i was surrounded by people who have similar experiences that I do...The Chinese hyphen American identity is something I specifically identify with b/c because of all [the above]. My identity is really this complex mix of Chinese and American culture. I won’t always identify with mainstream American culture b/c my parents weren’t born and raised here...but if i go to China I probably wouldn’t identify completely with mainstream Chinese culture b/c I’m also American and spent my whole life here. Even though I can speak Chinese it’s obvious I didn’t grow up in China.”

(Kyra) Half Chinese, born in Hong Kong, raised in the U.S.

“ I feel like I’m half Asian. Like that’s become the core of it. but it was really hard to come to this point since I look so white. Lots of struggle to reach where I am today in terms of that.”

“It depends on where I am. If I’m abroad and people ask where I’m from, I’d say California.

I have never really called myself American really. Usually half Asian and California takes precedence over saying I’m American...and it was such a struggle to accept my identity as half Asian since people never stop negating me. I’ll tell someone I’m half Chinese and they don’t believe me. In their eyes, I’m just another white person. That’s always annoying. I don’t seem like a real Asian since I don’t look like a typical Asian and I don’t speak the language.”

“It’s also tough because you don’t fully belong with the white kids, and you don’t fully belong with the Asian kids when I was growing up. My high school was split pretty culturally and whenever I’d try to hang with the Chinese kids, they’d just look at me. It’s a weird and depressing limbo that a lot of halfies experience sadly.”

“Identity issues were my childhood basically...still are!! Constantly having to prove I'm Chinese to everyone I meet is super fun.”

(Meghan) Russian, born and raised in the U.S.

“I say my family is from Russia...Or I say I’m a Russian Jew, but I was born here.”

[I asked “but if anyone asks, you always say you’re Russian?]

“I don’t always say anything. It depends on the context. I never say I’m from Russia because I’m not. I’ve never been to Russia. When I was abroad in Florence? I said I was American. I don’t think I say one specific thing.”

“So my family says, ‘we’re not Russian, we’re Jewish,” because in Russia they weren’t considered Russian, they were considered Jews. It took them actually leaving the Soviet Union, to now be considered Russians.”

(Luna) Chinese, born and raised in Switzerland.

“Whenever people ask me where I'm from I say China because it'll save me some trouble. Because [if what I say matches what they see, they'll be satisfied]. And I do identify myself as Chinese because I really feel like nationality doesn't affect the fact that I was born to Chinese parents and their genes have probably been around for several thousand years in China and as Chinese... if that makes sense.”

“I might have some misunderstandings but I feel like how Americans teach their kids to perceive themselves is really different because they're really pushing themselves in an hysterical way to be authentic Americans despite your skin color etc. But in Europe people acknowledge your nationality but also your origin”

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Before you take away anything from looking into other people’s perspectives, It is important to realize that it’s beyond strict ethnicity. There is a combination of many different factors ranging from ethnicity, culture, upbringing, immigration, and even time, which all influence one’s identity. I may have asked a very vague question, “what do you call/consider yourself as?” Take time to think about it. Think about the cultures you grew up with and were surrounded with, about the ways your generation is different from others.

What I once thought was a simple answer to a question, is now a complex array of all these different factors and webs, I can’t imagine what people in other parts of the world would say. Objectively, there will always be people of a certain ethnicity that do not necessarily “belong” in the country that they are living in. A Chinese person who immigrated and grew up in Italy. An Indian person who was born and raised in South Africa. An Australian person who moved to Korea at the age of 5. The differences in opinion may be a result of immigration, shifting cultures, or just personal preference. Whatever it may be, realize that if you’re confused, you’re probably not the only one.