In my family, we celebrate an extra holiday on June 29th. We call it "Forever Day" although other families refer to it as their "Gotcha Day." But whatever we call it, it is still the day we became a family. When I was eight-months-old, I was adopted from Jiangxi, China along with my twin sister. And we didn't know it then, but it was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Growing up, this has always sparked some interesting conversations. Some people try to avoid talking about my adoption, believing it to be a sensitive topic, while others have had little trouble questioning my sister and me. The former confuses me. Why wouldn't I want to talk about my loving family? The latter, while understandable, can quickly become discomforting.
What I have hated most about being adopted are questions that ignite insecurities. My parents told me all the stories surrounding our adoption. Like how my parents couldn't have kids naturally, and eventually after several unsuccessful rounds of In Vitro Fertilization, decided on adopting from China. But they never prepared me to answer questions like, “Aren’t you angry at your birth-mother for abandoning you? Was your family accepting about the adoption?”
These aren’t easy questions to answer and it’s taken me time to fully decide on how to answer them. No, I’m not angry with my birth-mother; giving up a child is the most selfless thing anyone can do. My birth-mother’s decision led to a better life for my sister and I, not to mention the risk it posed for her as a woman in rural China living under the one-child policy.
As for the second question, it never even occurred to me before that a family member would be uncomfortable with the adoption. Nevertheless, I am one of the lucky ones to say that my entire family was over-the-moon about the adoption. They had all seen my parents' battle infertility for over 10 years and were beyond excited to meet us at the airport.
Which brings me to my last point, adoption is not just philanthropic. True, by adopting you are likely to drastically improve a child’s life, but it’s not about charity. Adoption is about love. It creates families that don’t need blood to bond them together. And I know I need the mom and dad I have today, but I also have the pleasure of knowing that they needed me too.
On the whole, adoption has provided me with a loving family and a lifetime of opportunities. Even though everyone has a different experience with adoption, I hope all families enjoy the happiness that comes from finding your forever family.