Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) is one of the most popular music festivals in the world. I’ve had the dream of experiencing it since I was thirteen. When tickets were released for EDC Orlando 2017, I took my student refund check the first chance I got and snagged a ticket for one. I had no idea who I was going with and how I was going to get there, but I had four months, plenty of time to figure it out, right? I’ve read articles before that encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and try going to a music festival by yourself but based on my experience, it’s not all sunshine and head bangs.

I was always an independent girl so I didn't think going alone would be such a big deal. I had no idea that being independent would screw me over. Of all my friends, none of them listened to electric dance music nor did they have the money to go. And of the people I did know who were going, weren’t my friends. The clock was ticking, and I was running out of time. I felt myself getting increasingly desperate, but I was too stubborn to sell my ticket. I’m a music fiend and I’ve wanted this for so long and I wasn’t going to let these obstacles stop me.

When the day finally came, I managed to find some friends willing to drive me thirty minutes downtown to the festival. I had nothing on me but a borrowed fanny pack and my cell phone, which was of no use because the festival grounds had no service. The festival itself was mystical, the aesthetic of the daisy walkway and the commanding presence of the Tinker field, like a mother watching over us, are forever engraved in my memory. The creative self-expression of the people around was such a beautiful sight to see. Everyone there all came with one purpose: to enjoy themselves. The happy smiles and carefree attitudes really warmed my heart. I was exposed to so many amazing artists that now play through my headphones daily. But there was never a moment that I did not feel alone, the group signs that flew above my head, the laughter from a shared joke of a group of friends, and the flash of a cell phone camera capturing that sweet moment. I’ve never felt so alone. I didn’t have anyone to share these moments with. It was rough, to be honest, there were times I questioned if it was even worth it to still be there and not go home. I stuck it out because my love for music prevailed more than anything.

The most miserable part of this whole experience was trying to get home. The cheapest Uber price was seventy dollars (compared to the twenty dollars is usually cost) and was slowly rising. I had to hop in a car with people I barely knew and take a cheaper taxi back home from where their destination was. Waking up the next morning with no money, and not a clue as to how in the hell I’ll get to and from the festival, and still going alone with no one nearly broke me. I was ready to cut off my wristband and waste the money I spent. I wasn’t the same optimistic girl as I was the day before. I felt so defeated.

I managed to find another friend who had the time to take me to the festival grounds. I was smarter about everything this time, I spent less time worrying about being by myself, I wandered peacefully to the different parts of the ground, and enjoyed the happiness of everyone around me. I rode the festival rides and talked to strangers. I was fortunate to find a few familiar faces while I was there and shared some awesome moments. I couldn’t tell you how I got home because I don’t remember, it was bittersweet when it was all over.

When I tell people that I went to a music festival by myself, I get the same reaction, “No way, that’s crazy!” and all honesty it was. I wouldn’t suggest it to anyone because it has its miserable moments and it’s costly. But my love and appreciation for music grew. I learned from my mistakes, everything will be well thought out and I won’t go alone next time. I can’t wait for next year.