I Went To A Healer As A Last-Ditch Effort To Turn Things Around, And It Worked

I Went To A Healer As A Last-Ditch Effort To Turn Things Around, And It Worked

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

525
views

Last summer, I experienced an awful sickness that landed me in the emergency room. It began in the middle of my summer semester at UF. I got a fever that lasted for one full week. Fevers typically last two to three days but can last longer so this fact wasn't too concerning. However, my temperature was averaging 103-104. After six days of the fever, I decided to go to a walk-in clinic to get blood work done to make sure it wasn't a bacteria-induced fever.

When I got my blood work back they said I didn't have an infection and everything seemed fine. By this time my fever was going away and I was feeling much better. I continued to go to class as usual and everything seemed fine. But, a few weeks later I came down with a fever again.

I'm not someone who regularly gets sick. So, having a fever twice in such a short period of time was very abnormal but I figured it was just that time of the semester that college freshman living in dorms were all getting sick and that I caught something.

This fever seemed like the other one initially but by the second day, it became much worse. I went through extreme hot and cold flashes, which left me shivering. I was waking up multiple times throughout the night from being too cold or too hot. I couldn't make it to class this time around and I even traveled back home to have my mom help take care of me. The day I came back to Gainesville I broke down because of how much pain I was in.

My roommate drove me to the emergency room and I figured I would be sitting in the waiting room for hours because after all I only had a fever. They took my temperature right away it was 104.4. They took me back immediately ran blood and urine tests x-rayed my chest and did an ultrasound of my bladder. I was there for hours and they could find nothing wrong with me. They were able to get my fever down with all the medication and fluids they were giving me so I was released.

After the trip to the emergency room, my fever ebbed away after a few days. I felt that there was a deeper lying issue so I decided to go to a local healer to see if he could detect anything wrong on a more spiritual/mental level that was causing me to become sick. At this point, I had already been to the doctor, the emergency room and talked to a family friend who was a physician. None of which could give me any reason for my recurring fevers. So, I was pretty open-minded to what a healer could do for me.

I went to certified reiki healer and had an hour-long session. He explained to me that my root and sacral chakra (the bottom two) were black when they are supposed to be red and orange. As a result, my throat chakra was overcompensating by stepping in to act for my sacral and root chakras.

After the healing session, I didn't initially feel any different. In the time after I began consistently taking an iron supplement, which I was supposed to take regularly for anemia. It's been several months and I haven't been sick since. There are several explanations for what happened. It could have been a total coincidence that I got sick twice so closely together, my low iron was causing the fevers. However, my iron was unlikely the issue because when visiting the emergency room they didn't say I had low iron when looking at my blood test results. Or finally, the reiki healer truly worked.

Popular Right Now

To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
1549253
views

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If I Could, I'd Start Running And Not Stop Until I Got To Kenya ​

The high altitudes of this east African country make conditions ideal for any runner looking to excel.

15
views

If you're into running like me, then it's no secret where the best runners in the world come from. The African country of Kenya is home to some of the greatest runners to ever step foot on planet earth. Phenomenal talent emerges from Kenya year after year. Records get shattered as if they were minor accomplishments. Most of the talent goes unnoticed until the Olympic games roll around and get showcased to the world.

Kenya is a place I've always wanted to visit. Many of my running idols either live or train in Kenya. I'm talking about some world record holding athletes. Like Eliud Kipchoge, for example, who recently broke the world record for the fastest marathon ever. He trains every day alongside other world-class runners on the NN Running Team.

I constantly see athletes post on social media about their experiences while they training in Kenya. I think I would enjoy getting to know the culture. Life as a runner in Kenya looks like a lot of fun. The trails and roads look fascinating. There are always other runners striving to push one another towards their highest potential.

One big reason why I'd want to visit Kenya is that life seems so calm and simple. I wouldn't be caught up in the trends of society that resides while living in the United States. At times I feel overwhelmed and depressed from what goes on in the USA. I feel like there is a constant theme of people trying to outdo one another.

It's annoying because we are all the same and nothing should separate us, Sometimes I just want to get away from all that. I'd rather live out like a hermit and pave my own path in the vast open lands of eastern Africa. I admire the closeness of people in tribes and group settings in Kenya. People seem to be bonded tightly and enjoy the precious moments of life.

From what I read about Kenyan athletes, it sounds like I'd enjoy my time in the country. I would get to train with like-minded individuals day in and day out. The scenery would be incredible and breathtaking. There's just something about Kenya that gravitates me towards it. I've got it on my bucket list to accomplish at some point in my life.

Maybe my running ties could lead me to this place someday. Who knows, I'm just going to keep running until I can't anymore.

Related Content

Facebook Comments