Those two words were something I wanted to stay very much away from my entire life.
I went through high school never wanting to go through the process of rushing and getting rated by other people. To me, it seemed demeaning and time-consuming and absolutely draining.
That is, until my second semester of college.
I am now realizing I did my first semester of college very wrong. I focused on school and my academics very much, which is great, but my social life lacked. I had a few friends, but my weekends were spent inside binge watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.
I think I went out a total of three times my first semester. Coming into the second semester I knew I needed to change that and put myself out there.
I am not opposed to nights in, it's just that I am more introverted than I am extroverted, so my introverted tendencies will make me want to just stay in bed a be comfortable.
Large groups of people are also not my thing. So the times I did go out I felt very overwhelmed and I knew only two or three people when I did go out. I needed to realize that I was at a university that was states away from my home and I needed to make friends.
So, with that, I signed up for rush for the beginning of spring semester. That lasted about all of two weeks before I sent an email saying I couldn't do it anymore. I could definitley do it, I just panicked thinking about two full weekends of screaming girls and smiling 24 hours a day. I couldn't bring myself to do it.
After the rush process was complete I felt a little down. I was disappointed in myself for not trying and pushing aside my insecurities and my fears. Then, I found out about informal recruitment.
For those who don't know, informal recruitment is another process of joining a sorority, just minus the long days and screaming and singing. Now, this did sound better but I was still so nervous. I wanted to make a good first impression and I was nervous about putting myself out there.
I had absolutely nothing to be nervous about.
I signed some papers, met with and got to know some of the girls and then boom. I was in.
This was EXACTLY what I needed. I was able to sit down in a calm environment for more than twenty minutes and really get to talk to someone. It was through this process that I found my home. I have never been more comfortable or enjoyed getting to know people as much as I have the past few weeks.
Now, two weeks away from initiation, I have no regrets and I am loving the experiences and new friends I am making. I have met so many wonderful people and I have felt so welcomed by everyone.
All that free time I had before? Yeah, that is definitley gone now, but I am just fine with it.
I stepped out of my comfort zone a little and I found my people and the place where I belong and I couldn't be happier.