It is time to put 2016 in the grave, along side all the stars, friends, family, and others it has taken from us.
As 2017 shines on the horizon, many thoughts begin to flood my mind. So many things, both good and bad, have happened this past year. I became a freshman in college at a wonderful university. My best friend is pregnant with her first child. I also suffered the loss of a friend. Even so, 2016 has given me memories like no other year.
Still, I can't keep my head in the past. 2017 is creeping ever closer with each day, each moment it makes its way to the present. Even with it still a few days away, I can already sense the New Year Resolutions that are going to star popping up.
Every year it's the same thing: we make a list, we try hard for a month or so, we forget or give up and say we'll try again the next year. It's a vicious cycle we're trapped in. Of course, that doesn't apply to everyone. Some people actually complete their "resolutions". Others don't even make a list. I'm one of the second people.
I gave up on resolutions a long time. I knew I wasn't going to do whatever I wrote down, even if there was something I wanted to compete that year. I guess I got tired of feeling like a failure for not completing something I set up for myself.
2017, however, is going to be different. I know I'm starting to sound like the stereotypical "New Year, New Me!" person - but hear me out. I'm sill not going to write a list of resolutions for myself; like I said before I won't follow it.
See, I struggle a lot with inner battles, a lot of self doubt, and my own demons. Things I dislike about myself, things I want to change but never convinced myself to put effort into changing. A list would only make doubts and insecurities stronger, making it even harder to go through with anything I had up in my head.
Because of that, I've decided to take a different route, an idea that came into my head one sleepless night. I was just thinking endlessly about nothing when I started to build myself up about some dreams and goals I eventually wanted to accomplish. With that, I decided to write myself a note for the New Year.
I'm not going to share word for word what the note said, because it is personal to me; but I can give you a basic idea: I told myself that, yeah, I have a lot of issues and things I'm not fond or proud of but I can't let them control me. I reminded myself of goals I wanted to reach by the end of the school year, by the end of summer, and by the end of the year; and built myself up with positivity, kind words, and encouragement. I also put in a couple Bible verses my mother had shared with me in notes she had written. I ended with telling myself that even though times are tough, and everything seems dark, that tomorrow is worth being there for and I should never give up on myself or others.
2017 is not a "new me", It's the same me, just better.