My Notes App Is Filled With Weird Stuff

I Can't Believe The Utter Nonsense I Found Hiding In My Notes App

I rely on the notes app like it's oxygen.

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Just to get the embarrassing details out of the way, I have 878 notes in my phone. I use the hell out of the notes app. We're going to be taking a look at some of the bizarre notes I have in my phone.

Most sane people use their notes app to write down what they need at Target or to remind them what day their doctor's appointment is. Well, as a person who has never been described as sane, I can assure you that I have these kinds of notes in my phone, too, along with a ton of super sweet novel-length texts to my amazing girlfriend.

Not proud to say this, but the rest of my notes are... bizarre, to say the least. Let's take a look.

1. Jason?

I don't know who Jason is or why he needs to wait, but if you're reading this and your name is Jason, just hold up for one minute.

2. Who's playing roulette?

I'm convinced this was me making sure I spelled the word roulette correctly so I typed it in my notes to see if I got the ugly red line underneath yelling at me that I'm stupid and spelled it wrong, but who would I be sending a message to with the word roulette involved?

3. I have no idea what this one means

I really have no recollection of this note. Meat heaven? Sure, who doesn't like a good burger from time to time, but why on God's green earth would I write meat heaven as a note?

4. Backpack!

Okay, there are a lot of baffling things going on with this one. First, why is there so much space from the start of the note until the content? Why was I so enthusiastic when describing a backpack? Why did I need to write down backpack, and why did I need to put an exclamation point after it? Yeah, I don't know either, and I'm the dumbass who wrote this.

5. Haunted headphones

Okay, remember in the intro when I described that sane people will get a shopping list for when they go to Target? Well, a sane person's Target list is "milk, eggs, cheese, bread" and that's it. My Target list was to get a pair of headphones and "The Exorcist" on Blu-Ray.

6. What is this a list for?

I really have no idea what this is a list for. And why are there numbers, too? Who's dog #3? Who the hell is Vicky? As someone who has never and will never step foot in a Polo store, I really have no idea what else Polo could refer to. I guess I got Subway for lunch? Or maybe I was getting on the 1 Subway in the city? Either way, I needed to make it to Best Buy on time. But not Buy 1, I needed Best Buy #2.

7. ...

Okay, I need the CIA for this. Someone needs to decipher what all this means because I am so lost and I have no idea how to interpret any of this. Why isn't there a letter with the first line but there are letters for the last three? I am so lost.

8. ?

I think one night (or late evening, because it was only 5:11) I was so exhausted and sleep deprived that I deliriously made a note with the thought of, "Hutley is a cool last name, maybe I'll name my child that one day" before JUST realizing as I'm typing this that there is a flaw in choosing my future child's last name.

9. Another bizarre Target list

Okay, so this is probably the most normal note and the most bizarre note at the same time. It starts off with a basic condiment, like wow, maybe I am a normal human being. But the second item on the list is BONES. Hello? Am I the Grim Reaper? Or an orthopedist? But then things go back to normal with sandwich and melon. Was I just craving a honey mustard and bones sandwich with a side of melon?

10. Plain and simple

I'll start some of my notes with a dash before I start the actual note, so I'm really curious about what note I forgot to write here. Judging on the past nine notes, it probably wouldn't have been a good one.

Does everyone have weird stuff like this in their notes, or is it just me? Eh, I don't wanna know the answer to that question.

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10 Rappers Whose Lyrics Will Take Your Instagram Captions To The Next Level

Make your life easy by choosing a caption that's already been written for you.

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Finding the perfect caption for you Instagram post is something everyone struggles with. On the contrary, the best rappers in the industry right now seem to have no problem with it. Whether it be Cardi B or Kanye West, you can always count on fire captions. Taken from the rappers themselves, here are the best rap lyrics for Instagram captions.

1. Travis Scott

Travis Scott album cover

  • "It's summertime, why they tryna throw shade?"
  • "Rollin' rollin' rollin' got me stargazin'"
  • "I got 'em stage diving out the nosebleeds"
  • "Anything can happen at the night show"
  • "This right here is astronomical"
  • "Valet park when I pull up in the ride"
  • "Pick up the phone, baby, I know you're home, baby"
  • "Oh my, what a wonderful time"
  • "She said 'where we goin?' I said 'the moon'"
  • "I been up sleepless late nights"
  • 2. Migos

    Migos II

    • "Walk it like I talk it"
    • "In the kitchen wrist moving like a stir fry"
    • "Put my mind on it, put my grind on it"
    • "We live like sopranos"
    • "Diamonds on my wrist stay drippin"
    • "Addin' up checks, no minus"
    • "I can buy that car, I know that you can't"
    • "No human being, I'm immortal"
    • "Walk in the buildin', they start applaudin'"
    • "Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace"

    3. Cardi B

    Cardi B be careful

    • "I like texts from my exes when they want a second chance"
    • "I went from dollar bills, now poppin' rubber bands"
    • "Why would I hop in some beef? When I could just hop in the Porsche"
    • "You know where I'm at, you know where I be"
    • "These expensive, these is red bottoms"
    • "I don't dance now, I make money moves"
    • "It's not a threat it's a warning, be careful with me"
    • "Poured out my whole heart to a piece of sh*t"
    • "Karma for you is gon' be who you end up with"

    4. Drake

    Drake

    • "This a Rollie, not a stopwatch, sh*t don't ever stop"
    • "I only love my bed and my mama I'm sorry"
    • "I get it how I live it, I live it how I get it"
    • "No new friends"
    • "Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments"
    • "This sh*t got me in my feelings"
    • "With your phone out, gotta hit them angles"
    • "My ex asked me, 'Where you movin'?' I said, 'On to better things'"
    • "My team good, we don't really need a mascot"
    • "Got new money, got new problems, got new enemies"

    5. Nicki Minaj

    Nicki Minaj

    assets.rbl.ms

    • "Imma keep it moving, be classy and graceful"
    • "In my kingdom, with my Timbs on"
    • "Uh, yo, watch your man, then you should watch your mouth"
    • "At least you took an L off your bucket list"
    • "Defend my honor, protect my pride"
    • "But to live doesn't mean you're alive"
    • "She just mad 'cause he never bought her ice like me"
    • "I fly with the stars in the skies"
    • "They paintin' me out to be the bad guy"
    • "All these b*tches is my sons"

    6. Mac Miller

    Mac Miller

    • "My regrets look just like a text I shouldn't send"
    • "Driving with my eyes close, missing all the signs"
    • "I'm a monster with the heart of a lion, divide and conquer"
    • "I got a bone to pick like roses"
    • "I'll do anything for a way out of my head"
    • "Your love is not too kind to me"
    • "Yeah, I got a bad attitude"
    • "No matter where life takes me, find me with a smile"
    • "Imma give you what you came for"
    • "I don't know 'bout you, but me, I'm important, I'm so gorgeous"

    7. A$AP Rocky 

    A$AP Rocky

    • "Same shit, different day"
    • "I got three phones: business, conversation, and relation"
    • "What the face say to the fist?"
    • "I look for ways to say 'I love you', but I ain't into makin' love songs"
    • "Paranoia got me losing all my z's"
    • "Make no mistakes, it's all a leap of faith for love"
    • "She ain't a stranger to the city life"
    • "Can't forget that I'm golden, can't forget where I'm going"
    • "Riding by the rules, I'll abide by it soon"
    • "Ain't a killer so don't kill the vibe"

    8. Kanye West

    Kanye West

    • "Yeah u so mother thick"
    • "Ball so hard, let's get faded"
    • "That sh*t cray"
    • "I'm tripping off the power"
    • "All of my kindness, is taken for weakness"
    • "I'm lookin' for the one have you seen her?"
    • "Don't let me get in my zone"
    • "Let's get lost tonight"
    • "Sun don't shine in the shade, bird can't fly in a cage"
    • "Reach for the stars so if you fall you land on a cloud"
    • "No you're not perfect but you're not your mistakes"

    9. A$AP Ferg

    A$AP Ferg

    assets.rbl.ms

    • "Gucci down to the socks"
    • "My jewelry glistening why I'm always chilly"
    • "I'm a one night savage"
    • "Put in work, put 'em in the dirt"
    • "Fergy be mobbin' all day"
    • "Ferg is the name"
    • "I'm on a new level"
    • "Don't pray for me pray for the weak"
    • "I was only 8 years old, watching Nick at Nite"
    • "I was fly like a bird"

    10. Lil Wayne 

    Lil Wayne

    • "Real G's move in silence like lasagna"
    • "I speak the truth but I guess that's a foreign language to y'all"
    • "Okay you're a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin?"
    • "I got some weight on my shoulders, to me it's like feathers"
    • "I am more animal than the zoo allow"
    • "Money talks, bullsh*t walks"
    • "Every night's a long night, every day's a holiday"
    • "I'm a cool cat, but I'm on life nine"
    • "Haters can't see me, nose bleed seats"


    No matter what the occasion, it's always good to have creative Instagram captions on hand. Nobody knows how to make clever captions than rappers themselves. Whether you need creative caption for throwing shade at someone, or you have used only emojis for your past 5 Instagram pictures, rap lyrics make the perfect caption.

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    15 Underrated Instagram Girl Bosses That Keep It Real

    Instagram is nothing more than a highlight reel.

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    In today's society, most girls get on Instagram and scroll, while wishing they could "look like them" or "be as skinny as them," not realizing that Instagram is nothing more than a highlight reel, showing the best moments in someone's day or life. Over the past couple of years, I've sifted through all the Instagram bloggers and found the ones that aren't afraid keep it ~real~.

    If you want some realness on your Instagram, follow these 15 girl bosses. You won't regret it.

    1. Ashley TerKeurst Hodges

    https://www.instagram.com/ashleyterk/

    Instagram: @ashleyterk

    I've been following Ashley for about a year now, and I've loved seeing her family grow. Ashley is passionate about her faith and family, and I love seeing her passion.

    2. Karlie Rae Lang

    https://www.instagram.com/karlierae/

    Instagram: @karlierae

    This new mama isn't afraid to show the real side of life and motherhood, along with the beautiful side as well.

    3. Mattie Gresham

    https://www.instagram.com/mattigresham/

    Instagram: @mattigresham

    I look forward to watching Matti's story every day because of the real-life stories she shares. I laugh for days when watching.

    4. Madison Nelson

    https://www.instagram.com/heymadinelson/

    Instagram: @heymadinelson

    This southern gal is one of my top favorites when it comes to keeping it real. She also has the cutest little growing family, which is a plus.

    5. Bre Sheppard

    https://www.instagram.com/bresheppard/

    Instagram: @bresheppard

    The beauty behind the movement #boycottboringnails, and the cutest little girl boss. Bre is one of the first bloggers I followed and I've been a loyal follower ever since.

    6. Kathleen Post

    https://www.instagram.com/kathleen.post/

    Instagram: @kathleen.post

    Kathleen is truly a ray of sunshine. She always has a smile on her face, and she brightens up my day every time I watch her stories.

    7. Heather Brown

    https://www.instagram.com/mylifewellloved/

    Instagram: @mylifewellloved

    Heather is an Alabama-native, so I may be a little biased, but she's the cutest little mama, and fitness instructor.

    8. Emily

    https://www.instagram.com/joyfulcrew/

    Instagram: @joyfulcrew

    I love watching Emily's stories because

    1) She lives in japan, which is so cool and

    2) Her stories are ALWAYS real.

    She's not afraid to show the moments where she hides in a closet to get a break from her kids, and I admire that.

    9. Annie Pearce

    https://www.instagram.com/anniesforgetmeknots/

    Instagram: @anniesforgetmeknots

    I've followed Annie for several years now. I love watching her hair tutorials, her videos of her cute kids, and her super satisfying cleaning time-lapses.

    10. Mary Margaret

    https://www.instagram.com/simply_darlings/

    Instagram: @simply_darlings

    This new, southern mama/nurse has the absolute cutest style and cutest little family.

    11. Rachel Timmerman

    https://www.instagram.com/racheltimmerman/

    Instagram: @racheltimmerman

    Her and her daughter are the cutest little mother-daughter duo, and they always have the cutest matching outfits.

    12. Bailey Hawkins

    https://www.instagram.com/baileyannhawkins/

    Instagram: @baileyannhawkins

    Bailey is the sweetest soul, and she's always sharing loads of encouragement on her stories and feed. Although I don't know her on a personal level, she always replies to any message that I send her, and is constantly asking how she can pray for her followers.

    13. Danielle Carolan

    https://www.instagram.com/daniellecarolan/

    Instagram: @daniellecarolan

    Danielle is such a relatable college student, but I dream of being able to travel as much as she does. Not going to lie, I vicariously live through her stories when she's traveling.

    14. Jess Fay

    https://www.instagram.com/lipstickheelsandababy/

    Instagram: @lipstickheelsandababy

    The sweetest little beach mama, with the sweetest family and the founder of the cutest business, 30A Babe.

    15. Shannon Peterson

    https://www.instagram.com/shynnz/

    Instagram: @shynnz

    This mama openly shares her struggles of infertility, while sharing her life of raising 2 boys, and expecting another baby soon.

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