We are a culture obsessed with food.
Whether it's the newest restaurant or the latest diet craze, we LOVE talking about food. And in this day and age, diet culture is thriving with each new paleo or keto "lifestyle". We are consumed by weight and goals and numbers just because we're convinced it will make us happier.
But the truth of the matter is, it's unnatural and exhausting.
There is so much time spent on appearance and dieting, instead of actually trying to enjoy life. I have friends who will spend hours at the gym and restrict their diet, just so they don't feel guilty about having one piece of cake. There are Pinterest boards and magazine articles and advertisements all dedicated to losing weight.
And when people actually start to lose weight, we have gotten into the habit of telling people how good they look once they lost weight. We praise them for their discipline and thinner frame. We congratulate them on their ability to squeeze themselves into social norms. We are saying that there was something wrong before.
I'm not saying that getting healthy or motivated is a bad thing. Of course, you should eat some vegetables and go on a run once in a while. The harm comes in putting significance in someone's weight. It's about not allowing yourself to eat the damn cake and not feeling guilty about it. It's about not allowing someone to live their life as fully and beautifully as possible without the pressure of having to look a certain way.
When we praise someone for their weight loss, we're putting emphasis on the fact that their weight dictates how you are viewed.
We talk about a person's weight like it can measure their worth.
But are you truly happy now that you "love salad" and go jogging after dinner instead of hanging out with your kids? When you lost all the weight, did you also lose your tendency to talk behind people's backs? Does your weight loss contribute to anything other than a thinner frame?
Losing weight does not make you better. It does not deem you worthy of more praise. It does not, in any way, impact your worth.
Because your weight does not define you.
I would rather spend time appreciating the way you can make friends with anyone around you or how patient you are with your grandparents or how you're always smiling. I'd rather compliment the amazing traits that make up your character instead of how you look.
So no, I will not compliment you on your weight loss. Because I don't think that's an achievement. You are worth far more than your weight.