Whether or not your week involves tests every day and meetings galore, it is a universal truth that when Friday rolls around, the universe lets out a collective sigh of relief. Here is a timeline of the weekend for most college students, ranging from thank god it’s Thursday (TGIT) and forgoing the closing ritual at chapter, to closing your eyes and awaiting whatever fresh hell Monday has to bring you.     

Thursday. TGIT, amirite?

5 p.m. By this time, classes are finished and you are taking the necessary hour or two to decompress in your room from the day’s struggles with Netflix. Wine, if you are of age, is optional.     

8 p.m. Dinner is over, and if you are smart, you are watching Grey’s Anatomy, followed by Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder.     

11 p.m. Downtown, anyone?    

Midnight. No one really knows, but it starts at TD’s and ends at Todaro’s.     

Friday: no classes until Monday! 

4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Happy hour. Get to it, if you are of age. 

7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Nap. This time, block typically consists of a wondrously refreshing post-happy hour nap.      

9:30 p.m. Shower time. Followed by towel time -- that sweet spot where you sit in your towel and avoid getting ready for as long as possible.      

11:30 p.m. Make it to your party destination. Consumption begins, if you are of age, as does aggressive dancing and questionable decisions.      

Midnight to 2 a.m. This is what I call the “lost period,” because no one ever seems to be able to place any events occurring within this time frame. Crazy stuff.      

3 a.m. Feet hurt and makeup is smudged ever so slightly.You round up the troops and head for the welcoming pillow resting on your bed.      

Saturday: Get up, it’s gameday! 

11 a.m. Your roommate wakes you up by flipping on lights and handing you a mimosa whilst screaming, “Get up, it’s Gameday!” incessantly and at a much higher volume than needed.     

Noon. You actually get up and get going.      

1 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. Bounce between Larry’s and various tailgates as you prep for the big game.     

7 p.m. Game time. Go, Tigers! 

11 p.m. Game is over, your feet hurt, and you have a decision to make: find something to do or succumb to your bed.      

11:15 p.m. You succumb to your bed.      

Sunday: time to do everything I have put off.      

11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Lay in bed. Do as little as possible until absolutely necessary.     

5 p.m. to 9 p.m. Various activities including grocery shopping and attending chapter.      

10 p.m. Start homework and reevaluate all decisions leading you to this moment. Pray that sleep is in the cards for you, tonight.      

Midnight. Give up on homework and go to sleep, visions of next weekend’s adventures dancing in your head.