I recently saw one of those cliche posts with another cliche phrase to attract the same cliche group of people to re-post on their Instagram stories. In case you were wondering, I am one of those cliche people.
And I think maybe it's because I'm a sucker for words. I often struggle finding my own words I can identify with that is pertinent to my own feelings or situations that are ongoing in my life. That being said, I actually love these little cliche posts that teenage Tumblr girls put out on social media because, quite frankly, they're usually extremely relevant and interpretive.
This one post in particular listed a few short things that everyone should come to terms with, which included the following:
- If they wanted to, they would.
- Timing will not always be in your favor.
- No response is a response.
- Not everyone has the same heart as you.
I think you can probably pinpoint a time when you were spending too much time on a person that wasn't showing any effort at all to maintain some sort of relationship you really wanted. A lot of us have probably experienced times where people just aren't communicative with us, and there's a clear imbalance going on that frustrates us in the most agonizing ways.
So, I guess we should break each of these points down individually. The first point — if they wanted to, they would — speaks volumes. I hear all the time this contention that people are busy and shouldn't have to prioritize other people in their lives and that they literally don't have the time for anyone at all. Me, personally? I call bullshit.
I don't believe that at all. I think we are all busy humans. Sometimes I feel like I don't have time to breathe — I'm a college student taking many classes who works all the time and also constantly participates in various theatrical productions, sometimes simultaneously. But, I can tell you this: if I want to make time for someone, I will. Just because someone is important to me and I care for them does NOT mean I'm stopping everything going on in my life to be with them. People dramatize this concept way too much, and it's not as accurate as they think it is.
People are busy, for sure. But I promise it is not hard (nor does it take much time out of your day) to check up on someone, send a quick "hello" text, or even send a cute Snapchat selfie that shows you're thinking of that person.
The second point — timing will not always be in your favor — is also crucial to understand. Some may argue there is no such thing as bad timing. They may say that if it's meant to be, it will be, and any time is the "right" time. But, honestly? I don't agree with this. I do believe it's possible for two people to meet and feel attracted to one another, but it's not going to work at that given moment, possibly for many different reasons. Whether both people need time for their own personal growth, or perhaps neither are emotionally stable enough for anything serious, timing most certainly plays a factor in the overall wellbeing and strength of a healthy relationship.
This third point — no response is a response — goes hand-in-hand with the first idea. If you reach out to someone, and days go by with no response or sign of any form of thought or consideration of your message, then that lack of response is a response in itself.
Now, don't get me wrong, because again, people DO get busy. People DO forget. But, let's be real. In today's world, we're glued to our phones. I would say it's almost impossible for someone to completely NOT see your text, and if that person can't even acknowledge the fact you're trying to reach out and communicate how they feel, then you already have the response you need.
And finally, our final point — not everyone has the same heart as you — may be the most difficult to come to terms with. Some of us are filled with a ton of uncontrollable feelings. We love hard. Others, though? Not so much. Other people just aren't emotional and don't feel how the rest of us feel, and that is extremely hard to understand because we convince ourselves everyone should also feel as strongly as we do.
The other hard part is the fact that we can't blame them for being that way. It sucks, yes, but it doesn't mean those people are bad people. It simply means not every mindset is compatible, and you're unfortunately wasting your time on someone that can't even begin to see how much it's affecting you.
Now that we went through all of those points, I want to propose this question: Why? Why do we settle for less, despite KNOWING we deserve better?
Well, friends. It's because you do love too hard. You're so full of love that can't be reciprocated by every single person around you. You find someone and attach yourself to that person and find ALL the amazing things about them, and can't seem to let any of that go no matter how much pain you're experiencing every single day.
I can't sit here and say to find someone else because that would make me a hypocrite. I do the same thing and try to make things work with people when I know, realistically speaking, it'll never happen.
I can't tell you to change. And I won't. But, I am so sorry your love isn't appreciated. I hope that one day it is.