We need to talk about consent.
While watching the Bachelor in Paradise’s two-day premiere, Chris Harrison and the cast began to talk about what happened with the Corrine and DeMario situation.
If you do not know, Corrine said that she was too drunk to consent to a sexual encounter with DeMario. This led to production of the show being halted for several days with the possibility of the show being pulled.
Warner Brothers Television hired a third-party investigative team to see if there was any misconduct. It was ruled that nothing improper occurred on set.
This article is not to write about what I think happened between Corrine and DeMario, but rather, talk about the aired discussion about consent that aired in response to the situation.
Chris Harrison lead a discussion with the cast mates to ask them, “What is consent?”. Some contestants had great answers (looking at you Taylor) while others had dangerous definitions that leave a gray area.
During the sit down conversation, Chris Harrison told the cast that if someone is passed out they cannot consent and if they say no that is not consent. But, consent goes so much further than that.
“Consent” is an enthusiastic, verbal, and continual “yes” to any sexual activity. The party must not be incapacitated and capable of giving consent. The "yes" must also not be forced or coerced.
One of the contestants said that Corrine got very drunk making this her own fault.
While, yes, we do have to take responsibility for our actions and only Corrine, DeMario, and producers who filmed the scene can attest to what happened on Paradise. Drinking far too much does not equate with it being the same person’s fault for someone taking advantage of their inebriated state.
This conversation also comes in wake of Taylor Swift’s court case against former DJ David Mueller. And, while Taylor Swift did win the sexual assault groping trial, the line of questions from Mueller’s attorney shows that we have a long way to go in understanding consent.
One of the main points of defense from Mueller’s attorney was that because Taylor had a smile on her face when the picture of the assault took place, it meant that it was not sexual assault.
Just because someone does not look like they are against the action, it does not mean that action is consensual. Going back to the above definition, if someone does not give a verbal yes, it is NOT consent.
And, the fact that attorneys can still use this line of victim blaming as a scapegoat for assault shows how we need to be better about having a universal understanding of the definition of consent.
Furthermore, it does not matter where, when, or how. If you say "no" or make any indication of any response besides a willing yes, then that means that you do not wish for any sexual encounters. And, anyone who violates that is committing assault.
