We Need to Stop Putting Ourselves and Others Down

We Need to Stop Putting Ourselves and Others Down

"What is love? Love is just the absence of judgment." — Dalai Lama

Out of curiosity, after watching Nicole Arbour’s “Dear Fat People” video, I looked at #fatshaming, #fitshaming, #slutshaming and all sorts of other ridiculous hashtags on Instagram and the Interweb, and what I realized is that people have way too much time on their hands.

I had the same thought when I heard the criticisms "The Bachelorette" received this season. Is it really so hard for people to focus on themselves? Honestly, who has time to write a 500 word caption or comment on a picture, aiming to criticize others? Do people have nothing better to do? There are so many problems in this world that people could focus their attention on instead.

I think people let themselves be offended too easily. Did I give Meghan Trainor any backlash when she called “me” a skinny bitch in "All About That Bass"? No. Because she thinks she’s hot stuff and I think I’m hot stuff, and that's all that's important. We need to get better at letting things roll off of our backs… Why let others make us feel inferior? Why waste so much time being unhappy because of what a total stranger, a stupid guy, or even what one of our friends said about us? We shouldn’t. We’re responsible for our own happiness, no one else!

These are all just opinions. If you’re proud of yourself, if you’re happy with and confident in who you are, then good! That’s all that matters. You don’t need to comment on other people’s pictures or post and share your own responses, because that in turn drops you down to the same level as the people you’re “getting back at.” We need to focus on ourselves. But by that I don’t mean focusing on sharing things about ourselves with the internet. No, no. I’m not promoting #bodypositivity either. Sure it’s better than other hashtags I’ve seen, but it's like trying to use a squirt gun to stop a forest fire. It ain’t gonna solve any problems. The best way to put shaming to an end is to stop doing it ourselves. We need to stop judging and criticizing other people; we need to stop defending ourselves, stop commenting and posting and sharing and liking and thumbs downing things. We need to stop with the social media, and it starts with each one of us.

When we spend time focusing solely on ourselves, we become happier and more confident, we discover our wants and needs, and that’s what’s important here; focusing on being the best versions of ourselves, inside and out, whatever we believe the best version may be. Be who you know are meant to be with no shame, no bias, and no judgment on yourself or others. If we each find happiness with ourselves, it won’t matter what a few other people believe.

"Figure out who you are, be happy with yourself and don't take anything from anyone*." — Anne Hathaway

*That doesn’t mean go on the Internet and stick it to ‘em; it means don’t let yourself become engulfed in someone else’s hate; simply don’t let it get to you.

Cover Image Credit: The Huffington Post

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.


They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch


What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong

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