We think of all the ways we have been hurt by someone, but do we ever think of the people we hurt? I started seeing situations from both sides, it’s hard to do because we are biased and it’s easier to play the victim card than admit what we did. Don’t get me wrong, I have been hurt, but I realized I do the same thing to others.

Last year, I was good friends with this boy. He helped me through everything, including my one terrible breakup. In the end, we began to like each other, but he put in 100% of the effort and I put in 50%. All of a sudden, he called me and said: “I love you.” I was immature, freaked out, and ghosted him, knowing how much he cared about me. I know what it feels like to lie in your bed at night and cry. The fact I made someone else feel that way did not sit right with me. A year past by, somehow we started texting again. Not until recently, did I apologize for everything I have done to him.

It sucks when the people you care about hurt your feelings. The pain is like going on a rollercoaster when your heart drops to your stomach, but this kind of pain stays like that, your heart forever displaced. That is the worst feeling, and I know it is, yet I did it to someone else. Even though he forgave me and now we are closer than ever, I will never forget how I made him feel like an idiot.

I am sorry once again, and I know those words don’t mean much, but as you can see “actions speak louder than words,” and I took the action to put in the same amount of effort he once did. I am happy to call him one of my close friends, someone I can go to anything for and vice versa.

From this experience, I thought I would never hurt anyone else; but that was not the case. This time, I was not aware I was hurting someone else. Sometimes we try to do the best we can when considering someone else’s feelings, but despite all our efforts, we still fail and someone can still get hurt. All you do is end up hurting them; the one thing you were trying to avoid. Sometimes we tell someone what they want to hear for good reasons or to protect them, but the whole truth is not said.

It’s not because you don’t trust that person, but it’s because you can’t physically watch them get hurt.

But sometimes, not knowing the whole truth can hurt even more. Most people now text about everything, including feelings and things that they know are too hard to say in person and don’t want to see the other person’s reaction. For me, it’s different. I know it is harder to say something in person, but I believe if it is serious and important, it needs to be said in person. Therefore, I told someone something in person, but it was the reaction which made me realize I didn’t correctly handle the situation. Watching someone’s facial expression change from happy to trying told hold back their emotions hits you like a truck because you know what you just said caused them pain and made them feel stupid.

There is a difference between these two situations. The first one, I was a child and didn’t see the other person’s reaction because it was over text. Therefore, I didn’t feel bad for what I did at the moment. On the other hand, in the second situation, I said something in person, saw the reaction and realized I hurt someone I didn’t mean to. I am not saying I should have done it over text because that would have been worse. I am saying I witnessed first-hand how I can hurt someone else.

Everyone will experience hurt, but there is no easy way to tell someone something because you never know what part of what you said will hit them more. We tend to hurt the people we care most about, we are afraid to tell them something because we think it will cause them more pain rather than them not knowing.