Parenting is probably the hardest job in the world. I don't believe that there is such a thing as a perfect parent. Now, bear in mind that I am not a parent myself, but I have had the pleasure of being parented by the closest thing to perfect parents. However, a parent has a huge impact on the life of their child, and having bad parents can be a really difficult thing to overcome. My father is my hero, my role model, and my best friend, but I know that everyone's situation is different. Here are, in my young, female opinion, the ways to be a truly number one Dad in today's world.
1. Protect your child
This isn't a gender roles thing; mothers should protect their children as well. However, this means protecting your child even if you agree with them or not. If your child is gay and being bullied, don't bully them at home too. Protect your child. If your child has been assaulted, don't distance yourself from them because you can't deal with it. Protect your child. If your wife and child are arguing and your wife is getting out of hand, side with your child. Every kid needs someone in their corner.
2. Be present
Simply being an influence in your child's life can work wonders. Yes, men feel like they need to provide for their family, but sometimes providing for your family means taking a minute to watch Jeopardy with them even if you hate game shows. Go to their recitals, games, and performances. Give them at least one familiar face in the crowd.
3. Put your child first
When you become a parent, life isn't about you anymore; it is about this small, squealing, red alien that has just been squeezed out of your loved one. Your kid needs you; sacrifice cracking open a cold one with the boys, and get ice cream with your kid.
4. Dismantle gender roles, especially if you have a son
Kids learn how the world works by watching their parents. If Mom does all the cooking and cleaning and Dad just sits watching football all day, your kid is probably going to end up making meninist memes on Twitter. Help your wife in front of your children, but don't be indignant about it. Show your kids that a relationship should be an equal partnership, and that doing housework does not make you weak. Teach your kid to be a feminist, they'll be on the right side of society in the long run.
5. Show emotion appropriately
In a similar vein, children learn how to express emotion by watching their parents. Show your kids that it is okay to cry when you need to, but also show them how to control their temper. If you teach your son that men don't cry, he will probably end up in jail because he bottled up his emotions and then exploded one day, or he will just also be making meninist memes on Twitter.
6. Love your child.
Really, all of these other things will come naturally if you just allow yourself to fall completely head over heels in love with your child. You can tell when your dad thinks you hung the moon, and it means a lot. Don't ever be afraid to tell them that you love them multiple times a day. And, if you don't love your kids or don't feel comfortable saying so, stop making meninist memes on Twitter and go hug your kid.
I know not every dad can be Phil Farmer (aka my dad), but if you try to just love your kid every day and be there for them, you can come pretty close.
Happy Father's Day!