The topic of self love! What an important topic it is. To love one’s self is to beam from within. To love one’s self is to stop relying on your outer conditions to satisfy you because you’re already deeply satisfied within. When you reach this place, suddenly, the extra things in our lives become blessings instead of void fillers. Compliments from others are no longer the foundation for self-esteem but instead, they are the icing to the cake that is you! The wonderful, delicious and delightful cake that you are.

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel so fulfilled that we’re not waiting on a text back to make us feel worthy? Wouldn’t it be great to wake up and smile at our reflection, proud of who we are and the person we’re becoming?

I’d say that sounds pretty promising!

So how can we get there? And hone in on all this self love stuff? Here are several methods that may help you along the way.

1. Make a list.

Go ahead and make a list of everything you appreciate about yourself. Everything you like and LOVE! This can range anywhere from physical attributes to inner qualities. Whether it’s the way you sweat during an awesome workout, the way your hair seems to just work with you, or the fact that you love giving people hugs and advice. Write it all down, there is no limit to this list. Also, it’s okay if your list isn’t very long at first. This just means that you’re in the exploration process, and as time goes on, you will come across more things that you love about yourself. And you’ll get the chance to add those awesome things on the list too.

2. Read the list.

Every single day. Once when you wake up and once before bed. This will help you start your day off on a positive note and end in a loving one. And if you read it in between or when you’re feeling low, it’ll serve as a great pick me up.

3. Laugh more!

Sometimes we get so caught up in the seriousness of life. The best way to release that is a good laugh. You can always listen to a funny podcast, watch comedies on Netflix, or even, make yourself laugh!

4. Do the things that make you happy.

Every day or as frequently as possible, you want to try and engage in those things that make you jump for joy. Participating in the things you love are what bring you back to you, the real you, and are what light you up with liquid self-love. So whether that’s reading, writing, singing, dancing, squatting, or whatever it might be! Delight yourself by enjoying some of that something each day.

5. Do something nice for others.

Now I know what you might be thinking, “Isn’t this all about self-love? Why would I have to go and do something nice for someone else?” Because when we do something nice for others, we feel good inside. Acts of kindness are not only meant to heal the person you’re engaging with, but they’re also meant to heal you! Take a moment to reflect. What was the last nice thing you did for someone? How did you feel during and afterward? That is the very feeling we are aiming for. Hone in on that, and ignite the love that lives within.

6. Let out some steam.

When we’ve had a long or frustrating day, the last thing we can even think about is the concept of love. We’re bombarded by the amount of people we run into, how much work is still left to do, or about how we’ve been criticizing ourselves all day. And sometimes, when the overwhelm becomes too much, it can feel like we’re about to fall over. The best way to deal with this overwhelm is to release the steam that is rising within. Meaning, grant yourself the gift of stress relief. Some people let out their steam with a quick workout, others by getting their nails done. I personally love to journal and light some candles. This allows me to get all of my feelings of frustration and confusion onto the page all while inhaling some really yummy scents. After this, I find that I’m able to focus a lot better on the rest of my day.

7. Cook yourself your favorite meal.

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Food is my absolute best friend; there is not a place in the world that I go to without her by my side. But there’s something really special about crafting a meal for yourself. Whether it’s your favorite meal, pastry, or a brand new recipe, taking the time nourish your body, heart, and mind with food that you created has it’s own signature touch. It’s a great way to treat ourselves for all the hard work we do, day in and day out. And a wonderful way to bring happiness from our taste buds into our hearts.

8. Tell yourself: "I am beautiful."

Do this every single morning.I know that when I first started doing this, it was a bit uncomfortable. I certainly didn’t believe it and worried I’d become too vain. But every morning, with eye boogers and frizzy hair, I’d lean in to my bathroom mirror and stare at my reflection. I’d say, “You are beautiful Alexi, and I am so proud of you.” What I learned over time was that every day, it got a little bit easier to tell myself that I was beautiful. I began to believe it and came to realize that this exercise did not make me vain. Instead, it helped me step into my personal power. The world can only grant us what we’ve granted ourselves. And knowing I am beautiful was one of the first keys to truly learning to love myself again.

9. Set loving affirmations on your phone.

This is something I partake in every single day. I have a series of wonderful notifications that pop up on my phone that help me love myself a little deeper. I use 5 in a day, and repeat some of the mantras. My phone is set to start off the day with my personal favorite: “I am enough” because we all are, right where we are and just as we are. There’s also “I’m so proud of you!” I like to add “I am beautiful” in there as well and also “I am powerful!” You may want to add things like “I am strong” or “ I am worthy”, “I am unstoppable”, or “I can do anything!” Over time, these daily affirmations have helped me believe in myself, and see and feel the love that is within me.

10. Reach for positive thoughts.

One of the things that can make it so hard to love ourselves is that inner voice of criticism.Whether we’re trying on a pair of jeans or trying hard to start on an assignment, a voice likes to pop in from time to time and tell us “you can’t wear that!” or “you can’t do that!” When you notice this chatter start to come up, don’t grow fearsome. Instead, see this chatter like a lost and hurting child, looking for a compassionate hug and a shoulder to cry on. That lost and hurting child is you. It’s me. It’s inside all of us. It’s the voice that is scared that doesn’t believe that we can. So rather than acknowledge it’s chatter, or try to hiss it away with more anger, we can hug our inner child and then, search for a thought that feels better on the heart strings. So for example, if you find your inner voice saying “you can’t do that!” remind them of that one time you did do it, and how this instance will be no different. Or instead, distract yourself with something else like an uplifting song or the feel of the cool air surrounding you. You can also express gratitude for all of the wonderful things that you have in your life. This shift in thought will help you move from negative to positive and will help you hone in on the love that is within.

When I first started the journey of self love, I found it to be challenging. However, over time, I came to understand that I needed this more than anything in the world. To be and feel fulfilled by the love that you have for yourself is an incredible feeling. And the best part is that no matter where you are or who you’re with, you’ll always have you there to support you, bring you up, and keep your feet above the surface. Though it may feel awkward from time to time, or a little strange in its beginning stages, you’ll be glad you took the time to start loving yourself. The world can only meet us with what we’ve given ourselves. Love yourself and everything you’ve ever wanted will be right there waiting for you.