I am by no means a perfect mom, a perfect student, or a perfect worker. My advice is not studied proven, but it holds its’ ground.I think that every working/student mom needs to be reminded of these things, thanked, and told how much they're worth.
1. Set aside a little time for yourself every day
5 minutes, an hour, whatever you can afford. A few minutes to think for yourself is important. This means no homework, work, social media, or chores. Sit down and have a snack. Read for fun again. Watch your favorite *gasp* not child appropriate show. You deserve some meditation time- take it. I promise it will pay off.
2. Stop feeling bad about your work
I’ve been there. In fact, I’m still there every day. I have a gorgeous little cooing, crying poop machine that I would love to dedicate more attention to. I find balance by sharing my work with her, reading and studying out loud. I do dedicate time to my baby girl every day, but babies are not truly all consuming. All those minutes multi-tasking and given to your work and/or school will pay off when you get that diploma or paycheck. I work hard now so that I can graduate and follow my dreams.
3. There's nothing wrong with occasional entertainment
Let’s face it - every mom is going to be scrutinized. It’s something that begins in pregnancy and never ends.
I don’t believe a baby should be plopped in front of a TV for 12 hours a day, but entertainment and distraction are must haves for any mom. Stop feeling horrible and put that baby under their baby gym, turn on a colorful animated movie, and get some work done momma! It is simply impossible to work exclusively during nap time. There is too much to be done, and a cartoon or two a day will not hurt your little one.
4. Try to have at least one adult conversation every day
This one is very important to me. Some days I get so caught up in my online work and baby entertainment. A day without a single adult conversation can get on my nerves. Call your best friend, mom, dad, or great aunt twice removed. I like to head to bed 10 minutes early every night to set aside a little designated ‘just you and me’ time with my husband.
5. Attempt to schedule 'you' time weekly
I run an online resale boutique online. Every Sunday that Tom is not working or in the field, he watches Kyra for two hours, giving me some adult time alone to get work done. Not to mention, thrifting is one of my favorite things. Time alone and out is not always possible, so if you can’t get away, allow yourself to do something fun during nap time once or twice a week.
6. Work out
Exercise will make you feel physically better. When I work out daily I usually sleep better, feel better, and look better. I usually combine #6 and #7 by putting Ky in the stroller and going for a daily walk or run. There are so many quick things you can do! If you can’t get out I recommend workout videos on Youtube. I am a fan of Blogilates.
7. Take that baby out
Being a mom is busy enough, let alone the work that comes along with being anything more. However, both you and your little one will benefit from daily fresh air. I walk to the post office every day to drop off orders. It’s only a 15-minute walk, but it helps me get through the day.
8. Don't listen to destructive people
Everyone wants to have a say in how you raise your kids. Find a few people you admire and trust and limit the criticism you except to just those people. The cashier at Walmart may be rolling her eyes at you for that bottle of wine on the belt, but really, she doesn’t know you or your situation. Never trust Google. If you want to rely on the internet, do your research on the validity of the websites. I choose to listen to the advice of my mom and grandma, with the occasional more serious question to my doctor.
9. Love with your whole heart
Working and studying and raising kids is hard. There are times that I am so frustrated that I want to hand over our baby to my husband and leave. Do I? Well, not usually. When she’s screaming and yelling at 3 AM and Tom snoring away, I sit down and take a deep breath and love her even harder. Kids will be kids, and sometimes that means that they will lose their shit every night for weeks in a row.
It will all pass, they grow, deadlines come and go, and a little sleep deprivation won’t matter next week when the baby laughs for the first time, or when she says her first words, starts crawling, dancing, & walking. Hold in there and turn that frustration into love.
10. Be you, courageously
When your baby grows into a kid and that kid grows up to be young adults, they aren’t going to remember how diligently you cleaned the floors or how many parenting books you read. ‘Wing it’ is perhaps not the best way to put it. Give yourself fully to your family and your work. Put in 100% to your daily life and tasks. As a woman from a long line of hard working and strong women, I remember and respect how hard my own mom worked and how much she loved my sister and I. Today may be hard, but tomorrow will get easier.