We've all been through the inevitable deaths of our pets, and it doesn't hurt any less for anybody. It's especially hard to watch your pet, your best friend for ten plus years, slowly die in front of you and there's nothing you can do.
My beloved cat, Nicky, is twelve years old going on thirteen, and I've been through twelve years of unbreakable companionship with him. I've raised him since he was a stray kitten and together we've both aged twelve years. From sleeping on my head, to watching crime shows with me, to letting me cry in his fur, to helping me cope with my anxiety and depression, to him keeping me company in the bathroom, as sappy as it sounds, he's truly been the best cat I ever could've asked for.
In September 2015, Nicky was diagnosed with leukemia, herpes in his eyes, and FIV (feline immunodeficiency virus). The news hit my family hard, we had no idea he was that sick; I thought I was going to lose him. I cried and thought the worst, but it wasn't until it was brought to my attention that cats can still live long lives with those conditions if they stay on their medication and are kept inside at night. That gave me hope, but I knew Nicky's days were numbered.
Flash forward to 2017, Nicky's health is continuing to deteriorate: he sleeps more and more, having accidents in the house, he hardly leaves the house, and the tumor on his neck is getting bigger and grosser. He smells like cancer and he appears to be depressed, often staring sadly into space. We've made the decision to not put him down, as none of us can be strong enough to do that, to watch him slip away. I'd rather he die at home where he's loved, than at a veterinary clinic where he would be terrified in his final moments.
When I'm away at college, I always worry about him and worry if I'll be home when he passes on. I constantly ask about him and count the days until I get reunited with my best friend. Even though I know no animal lives forever, it's especially painful when you know your furry friend is irreversibly sick and the only thing you can do is comfort him. No matter how much I try to mentally prepare myself for that dark day, it's hard for me to picture my life without my little soul mate. It's amazing how an animal can bring out so much emotion out of you and make you see what's important in life.