On Wanting Commitment
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Relationships

On Wanting Commitment

Unfortunately, hooking up is not for me.

20
On Wanting Commitment
Quartz

As a college student, hookups are the norm. It seems like fewer and fewer people are actually looking for something meaningful in college. While I would never judge someone for how they choose to format their relationship, I can 100 percent say that I am not wired for casual. As much as I've wanted to be able to, time and again I have found myself unable to go through with it. I'm wired for relationships.

Maybe the reason that I can't seem to have a casual relationship is because I'm so Type A. I like knowing what's going to happen. I like to have a plan. I don't like going into things blind. Why should a relationship be any different? I'll be the first to admit that I have a timeline. It's a very realistic timeline, but it's there nonetheless.

It's probably crazy to be a 19-year-old college student with a timeline for when I want to be engaged by, when I want to be married by, when I want to own my own home by, etc., but I don't see why it's a problem to know what I want. Besides, even though I would like to find a relationship right now, I'm not expecting to meet my future husband at 19 years old, and especially not on a dating site. Plus, I want to move out of state after I graduate, so unless I meet someone who's willing to do that, no relationship I have right now is going to be permanent.

I don't understand the severe disgust that most college students seem to have for commitment, however. As much as I know it's a personal choice for everyone, as someone who is such a serial monogamist, I genuinely cannot fathom how one-night stands and casual dating can be more enjoyable than having someone who's down for you and only you.

The worst part about being the way that I am is being surrounded by couples. Almost all of my friends are in committed relationships, so it's difficult to be on my own sometimes. That isn't to say that I'm not happy for them (because I totally am), but it can definitely get a bit lonely. I know that it's better to be single than to force something with someone who isn't right, but that doesn't necessarily make it easier to accept.

Overall, I completely understand that some people just aren't interested in commitment in college, and I have absolutely no judgment for those people. Hell, I wish that I could be one of those people; I might enjoy going out more if I could handle casual. I know, however, that it simply isn't the way that I'm wired, and I've accepted that. I don't want to try to force it because, if I did, I would only live to regret it. I know that there's nothing wrong with wanting commitment, so I'm going to stand my ground and wait for what (and who) is right for me.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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