Yes, I Really Want To Be A Mom— But First, I Need To Find My Place In The World

Yes, I Really Want To Be A Mom— But First, I Need To Find My Place In The World

Becoming successful, traveling, going on adventures, and falling in love comes first
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When people ask me what I want to be when I am older, I always say a mom.

There is nothing I want more in this world than to be a mom, and a good mom at that. To provide a home, give unconditional love, and care for children is truly all I want to do. The only catch is that I don’t want to have children before I am ready to.

I am the kind of girl that gets giddy walking through stores and seeing the endless supply of little kid clothes and toys.

I am also the kind of girl that sees a little kid in public and immediately laughs and smiles, always waving back when they wave at me. Most of my friends can back me up when I say I have had baby fever forever. When I meet adults who say they have babies, I always ask to see pictures– let's be real, almost all new parents want to show their babies off, and I am more than happy to be their audience. I cannot wait for the day I can show my children off to people– but hopefully that day is in the far, far future.

I have things I want to do and accomplish before I can seriously think about bringing children into the world.

I want to finish college and then attend grad school if that's in my plan. I want to volunteer and travel serving with nonprofits. I want to find a stable career that I am passionate about and be as successful as I can be at it. I want to work tirelessly until I can buy my own home and live completely off of my own money without the help of my parents– not that there is anything wrong with getting help.

I want to be able to go on adventures.

I want to spontaneously go on road trips and vacations with friends. I want to hike to the top of mountains. I want to go on camping trips and go under the radar for a duration of time. I want to party and go out– and make it a tradition for a few years to celebrate NYE in different cities across the United States. I want to go to concerts and music festivals with people I love and go completely crazy. I want to become inspired and make art.

I want to see Greece and Rome, along with all of the historic sights both places possess. I want to see castles throughout Europe and see pyramids in Egypt. I want to drink at pubs in Ireland and visit the filming sights of Star Wars and Harry Potter. I want to be able to discover who I am as a person and live on the edge while I am young, so when I settle down, I will have a more grounded perspective of the world. I want to see cultures and immerse myself into the world, so I can share with my children my experiences of being in all parts of the world, and not just our tiny part of it.

Most importantly, I also want to meet and fall in love with the person I'll spend the rest of my life with.

I want to be careful about finding that one person who I will build a life and family with. To say I have my standards set high is probably an understatement. I'll embrace the single life and dating because I want to take my time finding that person. I don't want to feel like I am trying to beat an hour glass thinking I need to get married and settle down when everyone else around me starts to. Yes, I have friends that are already dating to marry and are seriously thinking about settling down right after college. If it so happens that I do end up meeting that person before I expect to, then hopefully he wants to experience the world with me. If not, I will do it on my own until I do find that person.

I know life happens and almost nothing goes as planned.

I will adapt and act accordingly when that does happen– but right now, this is my game plan. Having children is the biggest blessing, and I will be forever grateful and fortunate when children do come into my life.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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My First Year Of College Wasn’t Great And That’s Okay

I didn’t adjust as well as I thought I would, but I made it.

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Everyone always raves about how much they loved their freshman year of college. The independence, the parties, meeting all these new people from different places. It's a big milestone in your life. But not everyone has an amazing first year. And I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong. I was so excited about college. Finally getting to be on my own, experiencing all these new things. I even met people in my class before we moved in. And the first month was a blast...but then it wasn't anymore.

Eventually, I slid into this “funk", you could say. I was depressed. I never wanted to leave my bed. Some nights, I didn't even wanna eat dinner. And soon, my friends noticed but soon just stopped inviting me out.

At first, they still would, even though the answer was always no. But I guess they got bored and tired of me always saying no.

Soon, I didn't feel like I even had any friends and at one point, I even found myself debating going home to avoid being alone in my room all weekend. I would force myself to make plans, but found myself not wanting to go out because I got ignored every time I did. It wasn't worth it.

I was homesick, isolated, and just wanted to fit in.

When the year finally came to an end, I couldn't be happier. But now that it is over and I'm home, I realize how much I miss the people that were there for me. The people that came into my life unexpectedly, but it was hard for me to really recognize they care about me.

I absolutely hated my freshman year of college. Yeah, it started out good and I found my sorority, but I never felt like I was wanted anywhere. I felt so alone. I became so incredibly isolated and distant and it took a drastic toll on me as a person.

But in spite of all that, I realize that maybe that's how it was supposed to happen. Because I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and it will all play out.

This being said, my first year might not have been what I thought or hoped for. But I can truly say I am excited to see what my next year holds.

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