I Constantly Want To Be Accepted By Others, But I Want To Be My Own Independent Self While In College

I Constantly Want To Be Accepted By Others, But I Want To Be My Own Independent Self While In College

The weird "in between teenager and adult" phase of my life is hard to navigate when I constantly worry about what others think of me.

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Ever since I was a kid, I was concerned with how other people viewed me. Did they think I was funny? Pretty? Annoying? As an anxious person, its something that was always on my mind. I would think about how I would respond to someone I was having a conversation with for way too much time and try to predict how they would perceive me.

Life as an insecure perfectionist is truly tiring. As I have gotten older, I definitely have made strides pertaining to my self-esteem. I'm not the most confident person, but I can say I love myself without feeling like a complete fraud and that's something to be proud of.

Today, the present battle in my head has been how I am going to function in college. College is very much about working toward our future goals and focusing on ourselves and where we want to be as young people. However, there's still a widespread social culture that we're expected to partake in while here.

Every day, I worry about being accepted by others. I worry if people like me if I come across a certain way if people think I'm a hermit for always being in my room or weird for being so quiet. I worry about these things constantly, but in a way, that's just how I am.

I am an introvert. I can't be around groups of people for long and, sometimes, the social interactions of my day is more than enough for me. It was overwhelming just being in a place with so many people. So I stay in, instead of constantly going out and hanging out with people. Sure, it can get lonely, but I just don't function that way and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I know that this is my nature, yet I still feel like I should be more social. My mind always tells me, "People would like you more if you were outgoing and went out like everyone else." My mind tells that being alone a lot is a negative aspect of my personality and that I should change if I want to be accepted.

I should just do my thing, take care of myself, and nourish friendships as they come. I know that is the mature thing to do. After all, adults have responsibilities and jobs and they don't worry if the people they work with like them or if they're going out enough. Right?

The issue is I'm not an adult. Not really. I'm in this weird in-between period that is so hard for some. It seems like everyone around me is more focused on their social status than their actual futures. Maybe that's because I'm a freshman and not many people have reached that point yet; the point of, "Oh shit, I actually have to work hard to get to where I want to be." It's all gen-eds and intro courses.

But I have reached that point and I am over it.

I think I'm going to keep struggling with this as long as I'm in this "in between teenager and adult" phase of my life. I will work on not being so concerned with what others think of me and maybe then I'll be a true adult. And maybe, until then, I can just have fun in college the way I want to. The quiet, introvert way.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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The Cliche 'Follow Your Heart' Is Probably The Most Important Cliche Of All Time

Our heart or our brain? What should we listen to first?

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In life, we are constantly faced with tough decisions concerning relationships, college, career, marriage … the list of decisions we must make in a lifetime is endless. This means, however, that there are plenty of moments in our life where we will put into question our very own intuition, where we will waste time going back and forth between our mind and our soul. So then we ask ourselves when faced with a decision, what do we listen to? What should we listen to? Our brain or our heart?

Yeah, okay so following your heart is probably the most cliche thing you've ever heard. Our younger selves constantly heard the saying all the time growing up. Did we act on it? Maybe, but not in the ways that we should be acting on it now. Give it a chance and just think about it for a second.

I've realized that as you get older, it becomes harder to just listen to yourself. There are distractions all around you. Some come from the comments of your peers, some come from the devices in your hands, some come from the news headlines you see in bold. With this, you find yourself struggling to find a balance between thinking about something and just doing it. You find yourself unable to decipher what exactly you should listen to. You suddenly become lost within your own little world.

Who would you be if you didn't follow your heart? Would your life be completely different than it is now?

If we think about how we got to the place we're at today, we simultaneously also think about those decisions I mentioned earlier. And those decisions were probably mostly made from our own intuition, not from logistical thinking. The sad part is we don't even realize this, and we don't even realize how important this is.

How did you choose a college? Deciding where you're going to spend the next four years of your life, working towards a career is a big deal. Some will describe their decision as a feeling they got when they stepped on campus. Yes, the tuition was a factor along with retention rates and undergraduate programs and study abroad opportunities, but the one factor that truly mattered was how they felt so at home, while in reality being so far away from their hometown. So, this decision was made from a feeling, this decision was made from the heart.

Relationships. When deciding to tell someone you love them, you're following your heart. When deciding to commit to someone in a relationship or in a friendship or whatever it may be, you're following your heart. You're putting everything on the line because of how you feel. Nothing else matters. Just the two of you, together, happy and in love. And because of that, because of the magnitude of that one feeling, you listen to your heart first and figure out everything else later. Now, being able to have that, being able to experience this type of love, well that's just one of the best feelings in the world.

We can even consider a career. When trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life, you are looking for that feeling, for that career to find you. You are searching for that inevitable inclination telling you, you're meant to do something in this world. You dream big imagining yourself doing this one job that you feel so passionately about, changing the world and inspiring others to do the same. You are motivated by this one field so much that you decide to do it for the rest of your life. If that's not following your heart, then I don't know what is.

It seems so obvious. We hear "follow your heart" all the time. But do we ever actually realize how much impact a heart can have on one's life? No. And that's why it's maybe not so obvious. Because we're told to follow our hearts, but we never actually take the time to comprehend it. And so, we live our lives letting this concept of intuition before cognition become underrated. We let it secretly impact some of our most important life decisions without even ever realizing it.

So realize it. From now on don't just listen. Act. Follow your heart as much as you can and never look back.

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