I Worry About Being Accepted By Others In College

I Constantly Want To Be Accepted By Others, But I Want To Be My Own Independent Self While In College

The weird "in between teenager and adult" phase of my life is hard to navigate when I constantly worry about what others think of me.


Ever since I was a kid, I was concerned with how other people viewed me. Did they think I was funny? Pretty? Annoying? As an anxious person, its something that was always on my mind. I would think about how I would respond to someone I was having a conversation with for way too much time and try to predict how they would perceive me.

Life as an insecure perfectionist is truly tiring. As I have gotten older, I definitely have made strides pertaining to my self-esteem. I'm not the most confident person, but I can say I love myself without feeling like a complete fraud and that's something to be proud of.

Today, the present battle in my head has been how I am going to function in college. College is very much about working toward our future goals and focusing on ourselves and where we want to be as young people. However, there's still a widespread social culture that we're expected to partake in while here.

Every day, I worry about being accepted by others. I worry if people like me if I come across a certain way if people think I'm a hermit for always being in my room or weird for being so quiet. I worry about these things constantly, but in a way, that's just how I am.

I am an introvert. I can't be around groups of people for long and, sometimes, the social interactions of my day is more than enough for me. It was overwhelming just being in a place with so many people. So I stay in, instead of constantly going out and hanging out with people. Sure, it can get lonely, but I just don't function that way and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I know that this is my nature, yet I still feel like I should be more social. My mind always tells me, "People would like you more if you were outgoing and went out like everyone else." My mind tells that being alone a lot is a negative aspect of my personality and that I should change if I want to be accepted.

I should just do my thing, take care of myself, and nourish friendships as they come. I know that is the mature thing to do. After all, adults have responsibilities and jobs and they don't worry if the people they work with like them or if they're going out enough. Right?

The issue is I'm not an adult. Not really. I'm in this weird in-between period that is so hard for some. It seems like everyone around me is more focused on their social status than their actual futures. Maybe that's because I'm a freshman and not many people have reached that point yet; the point of, "Oh shit, I actually have to work hard to get to where I want to be." It's all gen-eds and intro courses.

But I have reached that point and I am over it.

I think I'm going to keep struggling with this as long as I'm in this "in between teenager and adult" phase of my life. I will work on not being so concerned with what others think of me and maybe then I'll be a true adult. And maybe, until then, I can just have fun in college the way I want to. The quiet, introvert way.

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To The Senior Graduating High School In A Month

"What feels like the end, is often the beginning."

It wasn’t too long ago that I was in your shoes. Just a little over a year ago, I was the senior that had a month left. One month left in the hometown that I grew up in. One month left with the friends that I didn’t want to leave. One month left in the place that I had called “my school” for the past four years. You are probably thinking the same things I thought whenever it came down to only 30 days left. You’re probably scared, nervous, worried, or anxious. Maybe you’re like me and are dying to get out of high school, ready to start a new chapter. Or maybe you aren’t so ready yet. Maybe you’re wishing for a little more time.

As scary as it is, this month you have left will fly by. You’ll blink and you’ll be standing in your cap and gown, waiting for your name to be called to receive your diploma. You’ll look back on your last four years at your school and wonder why time went by so fast. It’ll be bittersweet. However, trust me when I say that you have so much to look forward to. You are about to begin taking the steps to build your future. You are going to grow and learn so much more than any high school class could teach you. You are going to meet amazing people and accomplish amazing things. So, as scared as you might be, I encourage you to take that first step out of your comfort zone and face this world head on. Chase your dreams and work towards your goals. You are smart. You are brave. You are capable of achieving amazing things. All your life, the lessons you have learned have prepared you for this point in your life. You are more than ready.

There are times when you will feel alone, scared, or confused. There are times when it won’t always be easy. But those are the times when you will shine the most because I know you will work through whatever problems you may face. Don’t think of the bad times as a terrible thing. Use them all as learning experiences. As author Joshua Marine once said, “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

You might think that this is the end. However, it’s not. This is only the beginning. Trust me when I say that the adventures and opportunities you are about to face are nothing compared to high school. Whether you are going to college, going to work, or something else, this is the beginning of your journey called life. It will be exciting, it will be terrifying, but it will all be worth it.

So, as you walk out of your high school for the very last time, I encourage you to take a deep breath. Relax. You’ll always have the memories to look back on from high school. But your time is now, it begins today. Embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1152445/images/o-HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION-facebook.jpg

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10 Pieces Of Advice From My Parents That Have Helped Me Survive This Thing Called Life

I don't like admitting that they're right, but they've helped me through more than they'll ever know.


As I've entered my 20s and have made it halfway through college, I've learned that life can be hard and challenging at times. Like many kids, when I was growing up, I could care less about what my parent's advice or opinions were. Nine times out of ten, I would do the complete opposite of what they said. Once I got older and actually started listening to their advice and put it into perceptive, I learned that they're right more often than I'd like to admit.

1. Don't take things for granted

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I've learned to cherish what I have because I might not always have it. It's easy to take life itself and many things it involves for granted. They've taught me to take a step back from this crazy life sometimes and be grateful for all that I have.

2. Don't be afraid to put your heart on your sleeve


My parents have taught me that if you feel something, don't be afraid to say it or embrace it. If you love someone, then tell them. Don't be afraid to put your heart out there just because you might get hurt.

3. Be vulnerable

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In life, in relationships, in your work. Take risks, get shot down, and then try again. Being vulnerable is scary yet so powerful.

4. You can never have too many shoes


Otherwise known as it's okay to treat yourself. Life is hard, so take care of you. If that means going on a shopping spree every once in a while, then so be it.

5. You're going to be okay

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Whatever it is you're going through, you're going through it and you're going to come out on the other side. It may seem horrible now, but you'll learn from it and be okay in the end.

6. You have to have friends in life


It's important to have people to lean on, especially on your bad days, and to celebrate with on your good ones. You can't just have you or a significant other to rely on.

7. Never be afraid to share your opinion

laverne cox

Don't be afraid to put your thoughts and opinions out there because they might be wrong. They could have a huge impact on someone or something.

8. Don't stress over things you have no control over

don't stress

Everyone is on their own path, which means everything will work out the way it's supposed to, even if it doesn't make sense right now. Again, you're going to be okay.

9. Happy, healthy, wealthy, wise


My dad always says if you tell yourself every day that you're happy with yourself or your life, you're healthy and strong, you're wealthy in love and surrounded by great people, and you're knowledgable or wise, then you can achieve anything in life.

10.  S*** or get off the pot

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My all-time favorite piece of advice. Making decisions can be hard and scary, especially if the outcome could be getting hurt in the end. So, you either make a decision and roll with it no matter the outcome or you walk away.

Thanks, mom and dad for always being a phone call away when I need it! Just know that your advice and words of wisdom don't go unnoticed. For others, your parents have been on this planet much longer than you have and most likely experienced the same situations that you're dealing with. They don't have all the answers, but they are there to help.

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