Guys, really?

What ever happened to picking up the phone and calling her and asking her to go to a movie? Or walking up to her door to knock instead of texting “I’m here”. Let me guess, you Facebook messaged her the other day, so she has to know that you’re interested right? Why is this acceptable now a days? Why is this considered “flirting?”

Don’t get me wrong, girls do fantasize about sitting alone in a restaurant and having you come over to us to tell us we look nice that day, but we don’t expect our lives to be like a romantic comedy. We know the difference between fantasy and reality. But does having you coming over to us instead of Facebook messaging us really have to be considered a fantasy?

We live in a world where technology is our main form of communication. We rely on it and hide behind the computer screen too scared to say things to one another’s face. Let me guess, you liked one of her pictures last night? Maybe you followed her on Instagram or favorited her tweet. Is that what you consider effort?

Let me let you in on a little secret—that’s not effort. Sure, we will blush a little when we receive a notification that you “liked” our latest selfie post, but since when has that become “romantic?” For all we know, you’re liking every other girl’s posts too.

Effort is coming up to us and actually striking up a conversation. Effort is trying to take an interest in the things we like and actually wanting to get to know us for the sake of knowing us, not for the hope of just landing a hook-up.

Guys, girls are not that hard to figure out, we don’t ask for much. We don’t expect you to roll in on your white horse, dressed in a tux, singing us a love song. What we want is effort. We want to feel like we mean something to you, like we’re important. We want to feel like you actually care enough to pursue us and only us. The problem with this generation is no one wants to be “tied down."

Being in a committed relationship is now seen as a weakness and something that should be saved for “when we are older."

But what is the good in that? Is it really a bad idea to actually form meaningful relationships instead of having a bunch of one night stands? Wouldn’t you rather spend your time with someone who genuinely likes you as a person, and gets to see the real you? Someone that you can open up to and trust, knowing that they will always be there for you?

Let me guess... you have feelings for this girl who you’re too scared to tell, or have too much pride to own up to. What is the point? Tell me, really. What is the point of keeping how you feel to yourself, when you could be with the person you love? We keep things to ourselves for the fear of being turned down. Trust me, I get it. It is a scary thought. But isn’t not knowing worse than knowing? For all you know, she’s waiting by the phone for you to call. And, eventually another guy who actually will put in the effort is going to come around and then your chance is gone.

So stop it. Stop being too scared to walk up to the pretty girl sitting across the room from you, thinking “Oh, I’ll look her up on Facebook later.”

That’s not attractive to us. Being brave enough to put yourself out there is attractive to us. Pick up the phone and call her. Drive over to her house and knock on her door.

And girls, stop accepting him retweeting your Taylor Swift lyrics as “effort”. We are only given what we accept, and we need to demand more. You deserve to be swept off your feet by him, to feel like his priority. Guys are not the only ones to blame because girls in this generation tend to accept way less than they deserve. I am personally guilty of this, but I’ve learned, and now I demand more for myself.

So, guys just stop. Take the time to get to know us, put in the effort. When you think we look nice one day, tell us. Because the truth is, we probably spent hours picking out the perfect outfit and curling our hair, wondering if anyone would even notice.