Growing up, I often felt like I was "too much."
I was always getting in trouble for talking "too much." The boys in school would pick on me for having "too much" energy. Since I struggled with guilt over food from the time I was a young girl, I felt like I took up "too much" space, whether it was in my clothes or my seat. It seemed to me that this feeling of excess followed me everywhere I went.
These thoughts manifested in an eight-year battle with bulimia while going to high school. My actions were being controlled by the mindset that I was "too much." I needed to "be less." This disease caused me to be much less. I was less fun, less happy, less dependable, which turned into unstable, unapproachable and unreasonable.
2018 has been one of the most transformative years of my life, and one of the biggest lessons I've learned is that I'm not "too much," I have been given an abundance. God made me this way. I have a wealth of love, an abundance of personality and an abundance of energy. Some so many people need to come in contact with me because of this. The woman at the register at Target needs my magnitude of energy because she is exhausted from the stresses of life. And guess what, I have plenty to give.
God has qualified me to serve others by giving me a surplus in specific areas of my life.
Since I have decided to view my past insecurities as blessings on my life, I have been able to walk in freedom. I have shed the labels that I was given by people who couldn't understand my calling.
Recognize the areas where God has given you an abundance, and welcome it as a ministry. Do you get "too excited" about things? Encourage the dreams of others. Have you winded up feeling empty-handed in relationships, thinking maybe you love "too much"? There are so many unseen people who need to be recognized and affirmed by you. Our cups overflow so that we may give and give generously.
Sometimes it takes redirection. You may have been investing your time, energy and love into the wrong places. Pray and seek the right ways to use your abundance to serve others. You may just find your purpose there. Reject the feelings of insecurity and a rise in your capability.