About a week ago I started doing something I never imagined I would both do and enjoy: I started walking 4 miles a day. It may not seem that big of a deal, but coming from someone who hates exercising and would rather stay in bed than go outside, it was a huge deal for me. For the past few months, I've been quietly dealing with my mental illness taking a turn for the worst. I found myself becoming less motivated and really unhappy. I spent most of my days inside in my room and letting a beautiful day go to waste because I just didn't see the point in doing anything.
But somehow somewhere inside me found the strength to not let my depression get the better of me. Because I could easily let it take over me completely and let it win. So I laced up my shoes, put my headphones in and started walking and here are 7 things I've discovered from doing this.
1. To have patience
I'm someone who has little to no patience. Whether it be waiting for my turn in a game, waiting to be checked out in line or waiting to be called into the doctor's office I can't stand waiting. But I've discovered from walking how much patience I need to have. From waiting for cars to pass and drive by to trying to make it to a certain point in my walking. I can't determine any of that, it's out of my hands and it's something I've learned to get used to. Now when I find myself in those earlier situations I think about when I'm on my walk and find myself seeing that waiting really isn't all that bad.
2. To get motivated
Look, I get it. Trying to commit yourself to doing something every single day can be hard. We all get those days where we just don't have any motivation to do anything. Having a mental illness doesn't make it any easier either. But on those certain days, I remind myself of why I do this and how much better I feel once I do it. The process leading up to walking is hard and I'll spend a good ten minutes just staring at my shoes and debating whether or not to put them on. I'm just glad everytime I always end up putting them on.
3. The cold, wind, and rain never bothered me anyway
One thing that prevents us from wanting to go outside sometimes is the weather conditions. I get that an ideal day isn't supposed to involve rain, freezing temperatures or lots of wind as opposed to a beautiful sunny day. But I found that no weather is going to stop me from doing something I enjoy. So I'll walk through the downpours, put on extra layers in the freezing temperatures and keep on moving forward when the strong winds want to push me back.
4. Confidence: fake it till you make it
I walk on a main road, it's just one big stretch of road which means there's going to be lots of people and cars going by at any time of day. Sometimes I'll find myself walking when the school buses are dropping kids off which means more traffic and more cars. Of course, you get it in your mind that everyone is going to be staring at you, at least, that's what I like to think. So I've started to put my head up more instead of keeping it down. I'll blast my music and walk which a powerful stride and not give a f*ck to who may or may be watching me.
5. No social media? No problem
Where I walk to and back home it usually takes me a little over a half an hour. That means for that amount of time I'm completely off social media and have no way of checking it or have any desire to. I'm someone who tends to consume myself by constantly checking my phone and interchanging between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat all day. But by having that time away from it I'm able to focus on other things. Which brings me to my next discovery...
6. I'm aware of my surroundings
Again, by not being focused on having my head down and glued to my phone, I'm able to look ahead and see everything for what it is for once. I have to say, the outdoors it truly beautiful. I notice things I never would before had I not decided to go outside or spend time on my phone. I see the sky as the sun begins to set. I see the petals fall down from the flowers on the trees that engulf me when I walk under it. I feel the warm sun beat down on me as I stop to close my eyes and face my head up to let it submerse me.
7. Happiness is something I can get back again
When I started walking I wasn't expecting to get anything out of this. But even though it's only been a week I've never felt better. In the past few months I've gone from feeling content to so low I didn't see the point in trying to keep going. I've had very low points to a point where I thought being happy again was a thing of the past. But when I'm walking and I see the cars rushing by, the sun in the sky, the endless road in front of me waiting to be walked, the wind in my face and my favorite song come on, that is when a genuine smile forms on my face.