Sure, you’re most likely (hopefully) not in a life-threatening situation when you go through a haunted house. Sure, walking through a haunted house with your friends can be exciting (probably more so if you enjoy being frightened). And sure, you are a strong, independent woman, and you don't need no—emphasis on the no—man to protect you. But, how much better would it be if you had a bae to comfort you while psycho-looking, blood-covered people pop out of the darkness, scream in your face, and seem like they are about to murder you?
Speaking as someone who once went through a haunted house with three couples (lucky me, right?), this fall activity, beloved by many, is probably the most dreadful part of fall for single people, who hate all activities involving being scared half to death, but are dragged into them anyway! So, this is what it's like walking through a haunted house as a single person.
1. When you enter the haunted house.
Anxiety heightens. Where's nonexistent bae to calm you down when you need him?
2. When you all you hear is creepy music and screaming in the distance.
It's fine. You can just hold on to bae's hand! Oh, wait.
3. When the first blood-covered person scares the living daylights out of you.
You try to retreat, but so does the friend you're next to. You need someone who will let you hide behind him, pronto!
4. When you're next to the friend who remains unfazed.
They're not affected and they're not about to comfort you and your wimpiness.
5. On the off chance you pass out, there will be no one to catch your body when it falls.
You're most likely at the back of the line, which means there's no one behind you to catch you when you fall. What a sad thought.
6. When figures seem to come at you from every angle.
Where's bae to wrap his arms around you? Where is he? WHERE?
7. When you close your eyes.
There's no one to guide you around when you shut your eyes/cover them with your hands. For all you know, you may walk straight into Satan's closet.
8. When you fear for your life.
You wonder if this is it. Will this be the moment you die? Will you die alone?
9. When you get annoyed.
For a moment, you become more annoyed than scared because 1) you paid for this horrifying event, and 2) you can't handle it anymore.
10. When it seems like you're almost at the finish line.
It's been a long time, so the hope that it's almost over gives you a bit of excitement in spite of your frightened exterior. If only you had someone to share the excitement with!
11. When you make it out alive.
You are scarred for life, will have nightmares for nights to come, and will constantly be jumping at anything from a leaf falling to a door slamming. Too bad there's no one there to comfort you after the trauma you have endured.