Behind The Scenes Of My ADHD

Behind The Scenes Of My ADHD

ADHD or ADD is a common mental disorder that many children and adults struggle with. Even though it's existence has been proven there are still myths and misconceptions that it doesn't exist.

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What is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder known as ADHD and is a highly-genetic neurobehavioral disorder found in people of all ages. According to the Vyvanse website, about 10.5 million adults suffer from ADHD.

Yes, I am one of those individuals.

One of the biggest misconceptions is that people think the ADHD or ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder is just having the inability to focus, but it is much more than that. According to WebMD studies show that neurotransmitters in the brain work differently in the brains of ones who have ADHD versus ones who don't. Certain parts of the brain of people with ADHD are also less active or smaller than ones without it. This does not affect their intelligence, this just means that part of that brain is smaller in size or less active.

Growing up with ADHD is a lot harder than it seems. Teachers would get upset with me in the classroom because I would not understand what they said the first time. People thought I was ignoring them or did not care what I had to say. This is not the truth, my brain was not able to absorb what they were preaching because my brain was somewhere else or their information was not registering.

I always struggled to follow the rules throughout my grade school years and pay attention in class, but that didn't stop me from pursuing my goals. I still get called out for excessive talking to this day, but I realized is not a bad problem to have when making friends. Even though ADHD has its flaws such as having a short attention span, forgetfulness and being fidgety it has its rewards.

My brain is always filling up with new ideas and theories around the clock. It can be exhausting but it makes me think so much more creatively. I watch movies and look at pieces of art and see how I can alter them in my own way. I have trouble sleeping because my mind is always motivated to take on a new challenge or project. I noticed since I change my mind so often it has prevented me from having addiction tendencies.

The great thing about being a talkative person with ADHD is that people see the positive in me instead of the negative. People think when I forget something they just think I am being funny, but deep down inside I know it is my ADHD. Even though it seems funny at the moment, I come home feeling ashamed later. I am not ashamed that I messed up, but that I am so different from my friends.

At times I have waves of low-self esteem because I always knew I was much different than my fellow colleagues. School would frustrate me at times because I didn't have the attention span to sit down and study for hours. I realized later in life that I wasn't less smart than the other students, it was just that I learned the material in a different way.

I decided to use my strengths. Instead of staring at a book I go to tutors and discuss the material out loud to learn it. My style of learning is much different than others, so I have to learn how my brain works to succeed in school. Collaborating with my peers has also helped me out throughout the years because studying alone is not interactive enough for me.

Even though I lose Hydroflasks and miss appointments on the daily and it can be frustrating, I have learned tools to be less forgetful. Writing notes and getting close with organized people are tools that I use as reminders to get through the simple things in life.

There are still going to be people out there who deny this mental disorder exists and blame people for being lazy or irresponsible by not acknowledging ADHD. The best thing is to educate people by telling them that this is a legit disorder that affects many children and adults.

I can sit there and bash myself about how I need to get my life together and compare myself to others who don't have ADHD, but it's not going to benefit me. Instead, I have to just have to understand how my brain works and apply that to my everyday life and career.

It takes time to figure out how my brain works and what helps me be productive in my everyday life. I just need to learn once I find the certain things that keep me focused, organized and positive, I stick to those things. It will always be a fight and a challenge to live with ADHD for the rest of my life. The more I learn about myself and the more self-aware I am the more manageable it can be.

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It's Been Three And A Half Years Since My Last Seizure, But I Am Still Terrified To Live Normally

Hi. I'm the girl who has seizures.

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Hi. I'm the girl who has seizures.

That's probably a weird way to start an article, but a lot of the time that is what people see first. They see me as the one who has seizures. For a while, it was like it was my name. Sure, I had other identities, too. This one, however, stood out the most. I couldn't go a day without hearing the words- "Let's not have a seizure, ok." Or "Are you OK?" It truly sucked.

I didn't want to be the girl who was known for her seizures, but I was. I wanted people to see me first. Well, it has been almost three and a half years since my last seizure, and to put it simply- I'm terrified. I had my second seizure three years after my surgery. That's not necessarily what I'm terrified of, though.

I'm terrified of getting behind a wheel only to end up with a car turned over in the middle of the road. I'm terrified of hurting someone else because I got behind the wheel. I'm terrified of waking up in a hospital bed to be asked: "Do you know where you are?" Yes, I do. I'm very familiar with hospitals.

I'm terrified of being at concerts with strobe lights and blaring music. To the average person, that might sound dumb, but for me, it's a reality. I have to be so careful when it comes to flashing or bright lights. It can set a seizure off.

I'm terrified of insane time changes. For instance, I went into a 12-hour time difference, and while that's easy to deal with when it comes to switching your dosages, it's still scary.

I'm terrified of waking up one day to find out I had a seizure while I was sleeping, and now I'm completely confused by everything. That might not make sense, but you can't necessarily tell if you're having a seizure if you're sleeping. That is the scary part. Think about it. It is scary enough having a seizure while you are conscious, now imagine having one you don't even know happened. Scary, right?

Seizures are definitely terrifying, and the thought of having one at any time is even scarier. It's even scarier risking the life of someone else solely because you want to do something you are not supposed to. I want to drive, but due to my seizures - I shouldn't. I think about driving frequently, but it isn't worth the life of someone else.

I'm the girl who has seizures, and I'm terrified to do things because of it. I am constantly on edge about things even if I don't show it. I'm constantly hoping I don't have a seizure if I do this or that. I'm always on edge about previous events with my seizures. I think about them a lot. However, I'm thankful. Its been three and a half years since my last one. That's a big milestone.

I'm the girl who has seizures, but I'm not giving up.

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