Driving is pure fuel for delusions of both grandeur and mediocrity. It allows for too much free time and not enough mental stimulation, making it a playground for absurd thoughts to climb around on. Here are some of the most nonsensical things you think about while driving.
1. Speed limits are just suggestions
It turns out they're not. I learned this in the beginning of Summer 2017 when I got my first speeding ticket. While they may be set annoyingly low to protect the public's safety, speed limits have the force of law. Yeah, we all drive fast anyway, but it's worth remembering what the word 'limit' means.
2. Other people care about what you do
No one is watching you in your car unless you're a blonde teenager in a 2000s romcom in which creepily staring at someone is considered normal and not predatory. People are far too busy focusing on the road, texting, shaving (I've seen it) and doing whatever else they feel the need to, while endangering the public. So listen to your favorite song and bang your head wildly. Only you need to feel ashamed to have seen it.
3. Traffic is the literal end of the world
Traffic is a rare opportunity to question why you made every bad decision in your life. Why did I think taking I-35 at 5 p.m. was a good idea? Would MoPac have been better*? Should I have been born? These questions, while perhaps best left unanswered, wouldn't even have been asked if you hadn't been boxed in by metal-and-plastic environmental death machines.
*The answer is no.
4. You're a perfect driver and everyone else sucks
No, the other people on the road are not blind; they're probably just too busy thinking about how you swerved into their lane to focus on using their blinker. Get off your high horse and...get back in your car, I guess. Tell me again why you were on a horse?
5. Your singing is impeccable and you belong on stage
You may think you can hit that high note, but with the radio volume turned up to 70, anyone sounds good. Trust me, I know.
6. All the ideas you just came up with will actually happen in the long run
Remember that idea you had that would supposedly make all socks marginally more comfortable? Or that intricate roofing system you came up with that would hold rainwater and filter it into your shower? Yeah, it turns out you won't dedicate your life to either of those. Sorry to break it to you.
7. Wherever you're going is far more important than where you are now
Don't get in such a rush. Some of the best moments of my life happened in my car on the way to something that was supposed to be great but wasn't all that special. Car rides are the best, alone or with a friend. And hey, at least you're not walking.