To anyone I know who is considering voting for Donald Trump,

This past Friday the Washington Post uncovered an audio clip from 2005 in which Donald Trump uses vulgar language to boast about his perverted behavior towards women. It’s objectively rather disturbing, and has caused quite the stir. If you haven’t listened to the clip, let me give you a low-down of the worst of what he had to say:

He first told a story about a time when he tried to hit on a married woman. "I moved on her and I failed. I'll admit it. I did try and fuck her. She was married…I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look."

He then sees an attractive woman, and says: "I’ve gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

Many politicians across the aisle have stepped forward to condemn what they heard coming from Trump in this video, calling it crude and problematic.

But as an American woman, this audio clip isn’t just problematic. It’s downright scary. Listening to a serious presidential candidate speak about women in one of the most disrespectful manners possible? It’s like a nightmare come true. In this clip Trump actively pats himself on the back for demonstrating behavior that is manipulative and violating towards women. It is so disturbing, in fact, that I must say that if you are still choosing to vote for Trump, you are essentially saying to me that my rights and safety aren’t as important to you as the survival of your political party.

You may deny this. You may tell me: “Look, this is pretty bad, but it’s behind-the-scenes banter from 11 years ago. Surely he’s grown since then.” But in the time since this audio was captured 11 years ago, Trump has gone on to call women pigs, to say that the female winners of The Apprentice only won because of their sex appeal, and to blame the issue of assault in the military on the mixture of men and women, as opposed to on rapists and rape culture. What do these comments say about the type of leader he’ll be? How will he interact with female foreign leaders, and who will he nominate to the Supreme Court? The way he treats women has simply not improved, and is not something that should be demonstrated by a potential president.

You may also try to direct me to his political platform instead, saying that words don’t matter as much as policy. But his policy doesn’t support me as a woman either. Trump has said that he believes that women who seek abortions ought to be “punished”, only calls for 6 weeks of paid maternity leave, and has been unclear about whether he even supports equal wages. And this doesn’t even begin to cover the intersections of oppression that so many women have to face beyond issues pertaining solely to gender (ex: how does he help POC, the LGBTQ+ community, or the economically disadvantaged?).

A serious candidate for the President of the United States has been recorded bragging about sexually assaulting women. If you can brush this off, then clearly you have never clutched the pepper spray in your purse while walking home alone at night. Clearly, you haven’t had to quicken your pace as strangers shout at you, or hold your friend as they recount to you how they were sexually assaulted by a man they previously thought they could trust.

And if you have experienced these things, and still are supporting this man, then what is going on? Are you under the impression that these experiences are normal and acceptable, or that you don’t deserve any better? Do you feel that some things just never change, or that this is how all men secretly act and think?

Well, I’m here to tell my fellow women that we don’t have to stand for this. We don’t have to sit and watch as a man who has joked about having previously sexually assaulted women (while cheating on his wife) is elected to the highest office in the country. We deserve better.

This letter may sound one-sided. I suppose you’re right: it is the side of a person who will suffer literal and physical consequences if this man is elected as the President of the United States. For this is the reality I face. If Donald Trump becomes President, I could lose some of my constitutional rights. I could lose access to key resources. I could be forced to live in a culture that normalizes sexual assault even more than it already has. For those less privileged than me, it could be even worse.

So to any Trump supporter I may know: I am not trying to attack you. Perhaps you have reasons for supporting him that I will never understand. But I need you to know that your candidate is attacking me. He is attacking my dignity and my rights. He is attacking my values and my future. And by supporting him, whether intentionally or not, you are attacking me too.

Think about this before you go to the polls in November. You can support Donald Trump; it is your constitutional right. But you cannot do so while also claiming to support me.

Your friend,

Sheridan