Sitting on a bench, all bundled up and next to the New England Aquarium staring out in to the Boston Harbor, I am beginning to realize that I am growing up. I am thousands of miles away from my South Florida home with the beaches and streets I know, I have just made my final apartment plans and went on some fun touristy adventures with my soon-to-be roommate, and I have scheduled my first semester of graduate courses at Emerson College (I’ve also gotten to be a kid again, thankfully, by playing in the beautiful city-snow, which I haven’t seen in about 13 years).

While on this trip, I feel that I am really growing up, and becoming the woman I always knew I could be independent, strong, and unafraid (no matter how hard it is to take myself seriously sometimes). I did everything that I set my mind to and accomplished so many things; whether that be my first train ride and arriving safely at my desired station, seeing the Mapparium I’ve dreamt of seeing since I realized Boston would soon be MY city, or even being at Fenway park on opening day, right down the street from where I will call "home" in September. I did so many things on my own just by believing I could, and so can you.

Growing up is a weird concept that I’m sure all of us twenty-somethings are all dealing with as we begin to transition from our safe college lives to real adulthood. Getting a real job, moving out of our parent’s place, moving on to higher education and real responsibilities- how terrifying! But on this trip, I have realized that it’s not as scary as it seems. People will come along the way with you, or you’ll meet them on your journey, and you’ll find your way to where you are intended to be. Your support system from "home" will always be one phone call or FaceTime away. Unfortunately, yes, things may go wrong on the journey. Maybe you’ll get fired from your new job; maybe you’ll fail a graduate course; maybe your apartment isn’t what you’d hoped. All of these things are the very worst of what can happen, but you won’t be able to experience the innumerable possible joys of adulthood unless you really try!

Some other "words of wisdom" that hit me while on this trip relate to: doing (or not doing) things that your heart are not truly set on; letting go of the people that weigh you down along on this journey, no matter how much you love them; and introspection (aka really looking at yourself and where you stand mentally and emotionally, no matter how weird or difficult that sounds).

I was supposed to sign a contract to play two more years of college soccer while here visiting Boston. When the time came to physically sign, paper printed and pen in my hand, my heart said to me “dude, why?” (My heart and I are becoming pretty good bros, so I listen to it... sometimes...). I told the coach right then and there that my heart wasn’t set on playing, and I went about my touristy things and walking around the beautiful city that will soon be my home. Yes, I do feel a twinge guilty for their kindness and hospitality wasted on me, but I know that I would have never been happy on that field again, and I would have regretted the decision to sign my time away to soccer instead of giving myself a real opportunity for growth in the adult world. Sometimes we change our mind, and thats ok. Sometimes our heart tells us (even at the most inconvenient of times) what is right and wrong for us, and it's ok to listen. We may go in to certain situations with a plan and an idea, but part of growing up is accepting that we aren't always right the first time around!

Also while on this trip, as I sat alone in my hotel room, I thought of all the people that I would love to be here experiencing this journey with me. All of my friends, and people I love, that would have made my trip even better than it already was. But, I also sat there and thought about who would have realistically come with me; who has the “time” to listen to me talk about how beautiful the Boston Common is, or about how I got to eat real New England clam chowder from a bread bowl, or look at the millions of pictures that I sent them of the same beautiful buildings over and over again. The people who didn’t make it to that second list, I have come to realize, are people I can leave behind in Florida. They were in my life for that chapter, and played the part, helping me learn what I was meant to learn from them; but in this new chapter, their character didn’t quite make the cut.

My time in Boston also gave me the opportunity to take a really in-depth look at where I stand with my own mental health. In my day-to-day life, it's hard to really feel my feelings or understand why I'm feeling them; we are always so caught up in our little world that we forget there is so much more living to do outside of it! Every train ride or walk through the city I had by myself, I was able to dig deep into my emotional and spiritual self, and I could really feel myself refocusing on the things that truly mattered in my life.

I was able to take an outsiders look at the way I was spending my time during these last few months of my undergraduate college career, and I realized that I was not spending it wisely! I was becoming physically and emotionally drained at home because I spent too much time worrying and pondering (about basically everything and everyone, especially the hangups from my past that I still long to fix). I had been tuning in to these areas instead of actively working on my issues and problems, and mending the relationships I have now realized were so important to me but had somehow faded to the sidelines of my life. I realized how important this fresh start will be for my mental health and overall wellness, escaping the toxic people who surround me daily and the environments I dread being in. Taking this huge step away from what I see as my comfort zone, I came to see that it is truly a zone of toxicity and negativity that I need to distance myself from. By taking this kind of chance, I am doing my future-self a huge favor, and setting myself up for success instead of failure; I am being kind to myself (a reminder I have tattooed on my inner wrist, that helps me remember this important mantra MOST of the time), even if it means doing things my now-self is a little scared of.

Taking chances can be terrifying. But we will literally never learn anything, or meet anyone new, or become what we have always dreamed of being if we don’t take at least one. I’m not saying to move across the country to a state you’ve never been to, living in a city you know nothing about, start graduate school at barely-21, and spend the summer working in Florida while your parents move to Tennessee (that’d be crazy… and exactly what I’m doing... whoops).

But maybe apply for that job you’ve always wanted. Maybe look at renting an apartment in a thriving city you’ve always loved. Heck, maybe move across the country and start the music or acting career you've always longed for. Whatever you decide to do, all of my twenty-something year-old friends, don’t choose to keep living the same day over and over again. That’s the fun of growing up- making decisions and doing things that you actually want to do… like ACTUALLY doing them… it doesn’t get more awesome than that!

Until next week friends!