There are many things going on in the world right now. Dialogue surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement, as well as the various shootings, presidential campaigns, Bernie endorsing Hillary and Pokemon Go have been decorating almost all social media accounts and news sources. One particular “issue” has caught my eye because of how outlandish and ridiculous it is. Why would anyone care that Victoria Beckham kissed her young daughter on the lips? This is actually quite an interesting topic that has gained more traction than I’m feeling it probably should.
If you think back on your childhood and the little endearing moments between you and your parent(s)/guardian(s), what were they and how did they make you feel? After my dad came home from a long day at work he’d pick me up in the biggest bear hug you can imagine. My grandparents have kissed me on the lips many times throughout the years. My grandmother was a firm believer in hand-holding. I know a few people whose parents kissed them when they were little.
The issue doesn’t really have anything to do with Mrs. Beckham as a mom and how she should be a mom to her children. It’s really about our country’s issue with sex and kissing. Sure, it is fine in movies and TV shows to see kissing, among other things, because there’s profit and “sex sells.” Unfortunately, in real life, kissing isn’t what we pretend it is. In some countries around the world, kissing on the lips is quite normal, expected even, when greeting people. Perceptions of personal space change and what is considered sexual depends upon the culture in which it is immersed.
I’m not going to go into the spiel where everyone needs to mind their business and let Victoria Beckham raise her daughter without this ridiculous scrutiny and judgment, because we’ve heard this many times before.
I felt this issue spurred on by a simple touching of lips is possibly much more complicated than we originally had thought. As I read some of the comments made on Mrs. Beckham’s post for her daughter’s birthday I couldn’t help but notice the language used. Many of the criticizers made comments about how uncomfortable they were. A few of them weren’t even from the United States, so my argument does have a few flaws, but I felt it was intriguing how kissing became an act that makes many people uncomfortable, even for people not participating in the act itself.
The sexualization of the kiss is a pretty interesting concept that I haven’t come across thus far (but I’m sure there is a lot of research on it). While kissing is seen as a powerful form of foreplay due to the hormones and chemicals released through that particular stimulation, it is usually in the case between two lovers. The idea of kissing as a form of endearment and love is secondary to the mental image of kissing as purely an act of sexual desire and promiscuous connection. This idea, and I’m only pondering this theory, may have been a result of a culture that over-sexualizes human interaction, particularly if women are involved.
We see in our society a constant magnifying glass over women, as if they are merely ants on the ground and everyone else is looking for something to do. Jennifer Aniston has been under the scope recently, as have the Kardashians, Taylor Swift, Angelina Jolie, Rhianna, Hillary Clinton, etc. Women are constantly under the scope, it’s almost as if we’ve got nothing better to do. In this particular instance, we get a marriage of critical judgment upon motherhood and mother-daughter relationships with the oversexualization of not just women, but kissing in general.
Criticizing the act of a parent kissing their young child on the lips puts the assumption that there were immoral intentions behind the act. Why is it that we make these assumptions? Sure, there have been many horrible cases throughout history of inappropriate relations between parents and their children, but assuming that all parents have that intent lingering on the back burner is a dangerous line to walk.
With regards to our attention to people under the public eye, all I have to say is that if we spend a little bit more time focusing on our own issues and questioning why things make us uncomfortable, we may have a better understanding of the world around us and our interactions with it. Think twice before speaking your criticisms and really challenge yourself to explore the things that make you uncomfortable. Victoria Beckham’s love and affection for a child she carried for almost a year and then raised with her husband and family is not a problem she should have to worry about–it’s only a problem for the people who think it’s their business to say she should change her relationship with her daughter to appease their needs.