When we were in elementary school, we were told that Valentine’s Day started when a priest married people in secret because it was illegal and they were in love. We were sold this idea that the history of Valentine’s Day was romantic and pure.
The true history of Valentine’s Day is not written as romantically.
The legend is very close to the one we are told as children, but we are not given as many gruesome details. Per legend, Emperor Claudius II of Rome banned marriage because he believed that men were not good soldiers when they were married with children. Claudius blamed love and banned marriage as a result. Anyone who opposed or defied him was brutally killed. A Catholic saint, Valentine, disagreed with Claudius’ actions and married couples in secret. A crucial part that they leave out in elementary school is the part where Claudius had Valentine put to death.
The real question that comes to my mind when I think about Valentine’s Day is probably not one that comes to others’ minds: Why do we romanticize a holiday with such a brutal past?
According to the National Retail Foundation, it is estimated that $19.7 billion was spent by Americans in 2016 for Valentine’s Day. $19.7 billion. That is almost enough money to bring a small, underdeveloped nation out of poverty, and it is spent on flowers, chocolate, and stuffed animals that are later shoved in a corner, never to be touched again.
Why is so much money spent on a single day?
More importantly, why is love and affection in relationships only emphasized and marketed for one single day?
When I was a young girl, I remember thinking Valentine’s Day was such a cool holiday. I got candy, I got a party in class, and I got to find out if any boys had a secret crush on me. Who doesn’t love all of that?
When I got to middle school, they took away the parties, the Valentines, and, most importantly, the candy. I was devastated, and I told my mother so. As I sat in the front seat of my mother’s car, grumbling under my breath about the unfairness of it all, my mother said something to me that has stuck with me for several years.
She told me that I shouldn’t worry about all the superficial gifts and stereotypical phrases that are thrown around during this holiday. She told me that I should wait for the man that treats me like every day is Valentine’s Day. She told me that we shouldn’t just treat our significant other special on one day a year.
I couldn’t agree more.
What makes one day, in the middle of a cold month no less, so special? Why are we only supposed to treat the special person in our life with copious amounts of affection on one day a year?
Love is not supposed to have a schedule; true affection cannot be squeezed into one 24-hour period.
We should allow romance and small gifts to be a part of our everyday relationships. Our words should always be laced with affection. We should always greet our loved ones with as much excitement as we do on the morn of February 14.
We should always treat love like it’s sacred, like its special.
We should treat every day of our relationships like it's Valentine's Day.
