Do you ever find yourself loathing in self-doubt, misery, feeling like a failure, hating your appearance and all other terrible things we think about ourselves when we're down? We all do, I know I do more often than I'm willing to admit. See that cover photo? That's me. For the longest time, I was so insecure about it because I hated how I looked. This article is about more than looks, but we all know the way we feel about our looks can be a huge trigger.
There are days I wake up and just know it is going to be a terrible day. I wake up, look in the mirror, where did all this fat come from? Do I always look like this? I look like a barn.
My face! Do you seriously have to break out AGAIN? Why do I even follow a skincare regime? Ugh, I am late for class again, I didn't turn in an assignment or study for my test. To make it all worse, I have to work today, can I seriously not just have one day off? I want to go back to bed and start over. Oh wait, I can't because I have ten billion other things to do that all need to be done right now. Help. I'm drowning.
We are allowed to have those days and be selfish and think only of ourselves, but after being so negative, how do we get out of that misery pit? It isn't easy, I know what you're going through first hand. Not all days are bad, but when you have that one, that specific bad day that the world feels like it's against you, that bad day can turn into days. Forget the line, "there are always people that have it worse", well yeah, there are, but take a moment for you and worry about yourself and what you need to feel like the best you.
Here's the tricky part...how do we pull ourselves out of this seemingly endless pit? One grudging step at a time.
Step 1: First and foremost, remember who you are and every good thing about you. You're extremely emotional and aren't going to think anything is grand about you, so start small. For myself, I tell myself that I am a selfless person and that I deserve to have a moment to myself to get myself going.
In this moment, while looking in the mirror at my fuzzy hair, sweatpants and old tee shirt I tell myself that I am loved. Loved by my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my dog, and most importantly, the man upstairs. God made me the way I am for a reason, and its time to rise and shine and be the person God intended me to be. Basically, this transitions into a self-motivated pep talk.
Throw in a few dang girl you look goods, a couple of nobodies can be a better you than yous, and a smidgen of explicit self-hyping phrases that make you feel like you can conquer the world. It also helps to dress for the attitude you want. By this I mean put on something that makes you feel good, brush your hair, throw on some lipstick and know how fabulous you truly are. Look good, feel good.
Step 2: GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. You don't just suddenly become stressed or overwhelmed over one thing immediately, things add up until you just can't handle it. Don't let it get to that point. This is a lesson I am STILL learning. Talk to your boss, take a day off for you and take care of your mental health, sometimes you just need a break. Talk to your instructor, believe it or not, this can make a huge difference. Let them know how you're feeling about whatever may be bothering you or what you're having trouble with and they are there to help.
I recently tried this and I am amazed by how supportive my instructors are towards helping me anyway that they can. Family stress? This is a tough one because you can't take a break from family, but avoid things at home that can cause stress. If you live in a hostile household, take a breather. Go for a walk, go eat dinner alone, catch a movie or my personal favorite, work on some retail therapy. #TreatYoSelf
Step 3: Take a look at pictures your mom, dad, guardian, whoever cares for your posts of you online. Look at that comment section. It's full of long-lost aunts, cousins, elderly friends that think you're the most beautiful person in the world inside and out.
Appreciate these people because typically their comments are sincere. I'm by no means saying define your beauty as what other people see in you, you've got to love yourself first, but these people are genuinely supporting you and the extra encouragement is always appreciated.
Learn to see yourself the way your mom's Facebook friends see you. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are you and nobody can do it better.