Joined in August 2017
My name is Kristi Hawes, I grew up in Lubbock, Texas with my two brothers and my parents. I was raised in a conservative, Christian home learning about Jesus Christ, God, and Holy Spirit. While my home was conservative in modest dressing and no dating allowed, I learned more about Holy Spirit, healing and miracles than most. I started sign language in the third grade; it became such a vital part of who I am today. Sexual abuse was part of my childhood for about a year or so when I was nine years old. These memories began to haunt me as I came of age and deprived me of my joy, at the age of eighteen I attempted suicide and spent seven days in a psychiatric hospital. From there I moved in with some friends of my parents and a short while later I moved in with my grandparents. About a month or so later I had sex with my boyfriend, when my family found out, I was asked to either leave him or leave their house. At the time I believed he loved me, and I thought I loved him, so I moved into his mother's house with him. I spent seven years moving from one abusive situation to another.
In 2012 he and I got married and soon found that I was expecting our first child. When I was seven months pregnant with my son we moved into his grandmother's house. After living there a few months she threatened my life so I made the decision to move into my grandparents house with or without him, he reluctantly followed me there where his abuse towards me began to get much worse.
After my son was born in January 2014 God began to open my eyes and wake me up to the abuse I was suffering from him. In August of 2014 we had a massive fight after he came back so drunk he could not stand up straight, I asked him to go and stay with his brother or mother until he could secure a job and secure us a place to live. He decided to pack up everything he owned in the middle of the night and left us high and dry. He and I worked on our broken relationship for two years until he left me again last May. Soon he and I will be divorced and my son and I can move on with our lives.
My life has not been easy, every corner, and every alley way or street seems to have been filled with hard times, heart ache, and misery. Writing was my only solution to the thoughts and emotions that I did not know how to cope with. I've written many a story, half finished sitting there just waiting for me to figure out where to take them. This book, The Banished Princess, came to me about four years ago, I don't remember how, but I just sat down and started writing and it just developed. It is the first finished book I have ever written, the first book that I can look back on and really feel the emotions and the feelings I put into it. The first book that truly helped me get through some of my darkest days. Writing was not an escape like reading was. Writing was my solution to the pain I held onto for so many years.
When I write I usually do not write prayers, songs, or poems. I write fictional stories or poem-like papers that help me process what's going through my head and my heart in particular situations. Although the situations may change, how I felt in that moment was still valid, I hope to be able to share them with you, and I pray that they touch you as much as they touched me as I reread them now. God bless you.
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