I took a step back and looked in the mirror and realized I was finally coming into my own. I just recently switched majors in college, for the forth and final time. I turn 24 this month and realized I wasn't "behind" in school, I was behind in being true to myself. I have gone to college off and on since graduating high school and kept convincing myself I wanted to pursue a degree in things I wasn't truly passionate about. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do right out of high school, I'm not sure many people are, so I started a journey into figuring out myself and what I wanted out of life.

I loved the Catholic youth group I was in, in high school, and so I pursued a degree in religious studies from a local university right out of high school. I had some curveballs thrown at me in life and ended up moving back home after a semester and switched to a community college. There I was looking into what degree I could get because they did not offer religious studies at community college. I decided to switch into early childhood education because I was good with kids and it seemed like it could be a good fit. People told me I'd make a great teacher because I have compassion and understanding of kids. People also told me I wouldn't make any money from it, and it wouldn't be worth the time in school when I was making just as much from a job without a degree. However, I continued pursuing that degree until an opportunity came up to do missionary work abroad and I jumped at the chance to do that. I did missionary work and then started working full time with kids and loved my job. I never really thought about going back to school again until recently. I started back up at a community college last year and decided to go for something that made the most sense for me at that time. I "needed" a degree fast because I wanted to get a solid career by the time I was 26. The medical field is always in demand, so I figured I should go to school for two years and earn a certificate to be a medical assistant. I have been taking classes and doing well in school while working two part-time jobs. However, I realized I'm not super interested in anything I'm learning. I don't have the passion for what I was doing in school, I just did my course work and went on to the next class. My college coursework never really excited me, except for one class I took a few years ago that I kept thinking about: psychology.

You see, life has a funny way of keeping things locked in a room in the back of your brain and then one day opening the door to the room and turning on the light. I have always been fascinated in Psychology and have great knowledge on several forms of mental illness, through my life being impacted greatly by them. An event occurred at my high school, that was brought to my attention as an alum, that turned the light on for me. I can't keep sitting back and going to school for a degree that "makes sense" when I have a strong passion for going into psychology and pursuing a career as a counselor in schools. The event that occurred at my alma mater was tragic and if it had happened to me, I would seek out a counselor to help cope. I want to be able to delve deeper into my mind, and deeper into others minds through my degree. I want to be able to be part of a support system in place for anyone struggling. Through understanding our minds, we can accomplish incredible things, and heal incredible wounds.

A powerful Nicholas Sparks quote I love is: "He often felt that too many people lived their lives acting and pretending, wearing masks and losing themselves in the process." I was pretending to be interested in career paths that weren't meant for me. They are a part of my journey, but they aren't my destination. I am so excited to begin classes in the fall, finally for a degree that I've wanted all along. I kept pushing psychology out of my mind because it would require about 7 years of schooling and I'd have to look at taking out loans. I woke up and realized I'm no longer wearing a mask made from false perceptions of whats best for my life. I woke up and saw myself becoming who I really am, and chasing my own dreams. I don't care how long schooling will take me because I am working in the meantime. I am doing what I want to do with my life, today and for my future. I don't want to lose myself anymore to ideas that people throw at me. I want to be able to be excited, a little scared, and sometimes anxious but still have the courage to go after what I want.